


way down we go

by emilia_kaisa



Series: way down we go [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, Banter, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Murder Mystery, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, Tension, Title change!, did I mention slow burn, kinda enemies to friends to you'll see haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-06-18 20:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15493695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: Detective Javier Fernandez was an ordinary man- nice, overworked and a little bit lonely. His life was predictable until a series of mysterious murders forced him to team up with a Japanese interpol agent and everything started to change.(aka: what can go wrong when two total opposites have to work with each other? The answer is: a lot. But it also can bring them more good than they expected.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so stressed, I was working on it real hard but Idk hah.  
> All my knowledge about police work comes from tv and stuff like that, so please don't yell too much, I know it probably looks nothing like that.  
> Please remember that English is not my first language, my grammar can be weird sometimes :D  
> This work contains mentions of blood and some decriptions of violence and injuries- not very graphic, but if you don't like things like that please, be careful.  
> I think this work will have sth around 5 chapters, but I'm not sure so the chapter count is open.  
> Title taken from this amazing [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-7IHOXkiV8)  
> Hope you enjoy!

 

Javier was used to the smell of blood by now. He was used to quick, efficient work of forensic specialists, to the quiet clicking of a snapshot. But he never got used to the sight of a victim, to that pale, lifeless form that used to move and laugh and cry. Some people would say it meant he wasn't a good suit for the job, and maybe they would be right; but Javier liked to think that it meant that he still cared.

„What do we have here?” he asked, standing a few metres from a body lying on the floor.

„Cut throat, very clean. Looks professional.” Katelyn said, writing something in her notepad „We found his wallet. Jamie Walters, 28. Gotta wait till we know more.”

Javier nodded, looking around. The apartment seemed to be pretty small, a bit cluttered, so the victim was probably single, but Javier knew that he could never be sure. He noticed a lot of electronic equipment and an open laptop on a table, and he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Then his eyes caught a picture on a wall, a small boy standing between his parents, and his stomach twisted. He shook his head and stepped closer to the victim, examining him closely. Apart from the awful cut on his neck, there was no other signs of violence.

He looked younger than 28.

„Fuck.”

„Huh?” one of the specialists looked at him with confusion and Javier just shook his head.

„Sorry.”

He walked back to Katelyn, who looked at him with serious eyes.

„You know, this looks like-”

„The Adachi case.” Javier sighed „I know. Two cut throats in the same week seems like a weird coincidence. Also, all the electronics. I'm not saying they must be connected, but they might be.”

„I'll tell Gabby to look into him.” Katelyn said, taking her phone out of her pocket „What are you doing here, by the way? Don't you have free days at all?”

„Someone's gotta do the job.” Javier shrugged and she gave him a stern look.

„Will they finally give you a partner tho? It's been months since Patrick retired.”

„It's only that easy in the movies, people actually aren't eager to join the police.” Javier chuckled humorlessly „I wouldn't mind someone to work with, but I guess I gotta deal with it by myself for now.”

„You've got this.” Katelyn patted his shoulder with sympathy and got back to work. Javier also looked around the crime scene a bit, but he left soon, letting the specialists to do their job.

„Get statements from his neighbours and sent them to me, okay?” he asked one of the officers and the guy nodded. It was an obvious thing, but Javier always preferred to ask. He liked to have good relatioship with all his associates and being nice never hurt anybody.

It was snowing when he left the building and Javier took a deep breath, cold air filling his nose and killing the scent of blood. He wondered, once again, why was he even doing that. He could be a teacher, he could live far away from that freezing, lonely country. But now he had to go back to the station and call Jamie Walters' parents to tell them that their son was dead.

 

When he came back to the station there was already a small piece of paper on his desk. One name, Mary Walters, and a phone number.

The woman's voice was warm and cheerfull when she answered, and Javier hated that he had to be the one to tell her everything. It was probably the worst thing in the world, to witness someone breaking down like that and knowing that there was no coming back for them.

„I just saw him on New Year's Eve.” she sobbed on the other side of the line and Javier's fingers wrapped even tighter around his phone „I was going to visit him in two weeks.”

„I'm really sorry.” Javier said honestly, but he knew that it didn't matter to her „Madam, will you be able to come to Toronto as soon as possible? I need to ask you a few questions and I'd like to do that in person.” he hated that he couldn't let her mourn in silence, but there were things that needed to be done.

„Yes, of course.” her voice was shaking with tears, her pain palpable „I need to... the funeral...” she choked and Javier decided that it was enough.

„Please, contact me then. I'm really sorry.”

Javier ended the call and groaned, hiding his face in his hands. He was exhausted.

„Here.”

He raised his head and saw Gabby, who was holding a steaming cup and a few sheets of paper.

„One coffee for you and some info about our victim.” she said, handing him everything „It's only basics, but I'll dig deeper.”

„Thank you, Gabby.” Javi smiled and took a sip of his coffee „Yes?” he asked when she didn't move, watching him expectantly.

„You know, a little bird told me that it looks like that case you got a few days ago.”

Javier sighed and rolled his eyes. You would think that police officers were professional and serious people, but they just loved a good gossip. And if something looked like it could be a serial killer thing, they could get excited like a bunch of highschoolers.

„Well, that bird should learn to keep its beak closed.” he said but sent her a slight smile. She was probably his favourite person there and he couldn't be mad at her for being curious „You'll be the first one to know if I find something.” he said conspiratorially and she beamed.

„I'm going back to work then!” she flashed him a smile before rushing out.

Javier shook his head and started reading papers Gabby had brought him. Born and raised in Sudbury, unmarried, no criminal record. Working as a programmer in a big corporation for the last four years.

„Shit.” Javier muttered „Shit, shit.” he repeated as he was digging in a bunch of papers scattered on his desk. He quickly found the right folder and grimaced when his suspicion was affirmed. He put two files in front of him, one with basic information about Walters and one about Adachi. The only thing that connected them so far was the cause of death and their profession, but Javier knew that he couldn't ignore that. It still could be a coincidence, but he wasn't taking any chances.

 

„I need more info about Adachi.” Javier said and chief Orser sighed.

They were sitting in the chief's office, a familiar room with worn out armchairs, mountains of books and cactuses that the older man loved with passion.

„I know, Javi, but the Japanese side is weirdly sluggish with cooperation. Have you made any progress?”

„No.” Javier shook his head, frustrated „Her hotel didn't have any cameras, the receptionist is also a cleaner so she was running around a building trying to get everything done and she wouldn't notice if a platoon marched in.”

The Adachi case was pain in the ass. The victim was a Japan citizen, apparently with no family, who came to Toronto for unknown reason and was killed in her hotel room the same night. No witnesses, no motive, no suspects. Javi was stuck in one place with no lead, and today's case was the first foothold he had.

„Today there was another murder. The same profession and death cause as Adachi.”

Orser leaned forward a little, his face focused.

„You think they're connected?”

„I can't be sure, but for now it's our best guess.”

The chief looked at him as if he was weighing his options.

„Do you want me to give this case to Scott and Tessa?” he asked finally and Javier shook his head.

„They're deep in the Weir's case right now.” he said and chief Orser nodded „I'll handle it.”

„Great.” chief clapped his hands „Then I'm gonna call in a few places right now and try to get the Japanese side to cooperate. It's weird for them to be lagging so much. Such a calm nation.” he noticed and Javier felt a painful sting somewhere close to his heart.

„Yeah.” he agreed absently before he stood up from his chair „Okay, I'm going back to work.”

„Keep me updated.”

„Sure thing, chief.”

 

On his way back he stopped by Gabby's little office and asked her to find out if Walters had any connections with Japan. He didn't say anything else, but that sly smile on her lips was very telling. On his desk he found a file with neighbours' statements and he wasted no time before diving into it. The results were quite disappointing. Jamie was a nice boy, very quiet, polite, didn't throw any parties. No one heard anything, no one saw anything.

Javier sighed with frustration and found a number of Jamie's supervisor, asking him to come to the station as fast as possible. The guy on the other side of the line sounded shocked and he reassured Javier that he would be on the station within next hour. Which was pretty convenient for Javier, because he didn't have any other things he could use right now. He still had no information about the victim's friends, he didn't have his phone connections. His boss seemed to be a decent start, who would tell him something more than _such a nice, collected young man._

Javier used a moment of free time to check his emails. He smiled to himself when he saw a message from Laura, which contained a long description of Christmas and as long reproaching that he hadn't been there. Javier's heart squeezed with guilt as he started typing a response. He felt bad about missing Christmas, but someone had to stay at work.

He promised Laura to come to Madrid for his birthday, making a mental note to ask chief for a holiday. He just hit sent when someone knocked to his doorframe and he was greeted by Jason's bright smile.

„There's a guy waiting for you, he says you're expecting him.”

„Yeah, tell him to come in.” Javier smiled back „Oh, and could you call other stations and ask if they had cases involving sliced throat recently?”

„Uhh, gross.” Jason flinched and Javier surpressed a chuckle „I can also check a country register if you want.”

„That would be great, thank you.”

„Everything for my favourite detective.” Jason winked and Javier shook his head with amusement.

Walters' boss was a tall, pale man in elegant suit and tie that costed probably more than Javier's rent.

„Detective Javier Fernandez. I'm very glad you've managed to come so quickly.” Javier shook the man's hand and showed him a chair next to his desk.

„Yes, of course.” the man, Bob Carlson, nodded furiosuly. Javier noticed that he was incredibly nervous, but he decided to treat it like as a sign of shock. For now.

„I can't believe that Jamie's dead.” Carlson shook his head „I talked with him just yesterday.”

„Tell me everything about him. What kind of person he was?”

„Very responsible, good at his job. Always very polite and helpful.” he answered without hesitatation and Javier groaned internally.

„And what was his job, exactly?”

„He was our main IT engineer, if there was any problem with servers or computers, he would solve it. I can't tell how many times he saved our systems from crashing.” he looked at Javier and his eyes were full of sorrow.

„Did he have any enemies?” Javier asked and Carlson inhaled sharply.

„No, that's impossible, he was such a sweet person. But... was Jamie murdered?”

„Yes.” Javier said simply and Carlson's face went from white to grey „That's why it's so important. Are you sure no one would want to hurt him?”

„I'm- I was just his boss.” the man mumbled „I don't-”

„Okay, could you tell me if he had any close friends at work? Someone I could talk to?”

„Yes, I think... Jenny and Tom... Ruth...”

„Could you write me their names and contact numbers?” Javier gave him a piece of paper and Carlson did as he asked, his hands trembling. Poor guy seemed stressed beyond belief, but Javier didn't blame him. It was always a shock, to learn that you wouldn't see someone anymore.

„Thank you so much. I'll call you if I need to ask you more questions.”

It took Javier half an hour to contact Jamie's co- workers and arranging meetings with them. He quickly learned that Jenny Anderson and Tom Smith weren't close with Walters and their relationship was strictly professional, if not counting a beer once in a few months. Once again, he was a quiet guy, good at his job, a bit shy, but polite. Honestly, Javier wasn't even hoping that Ruth Kelly would bring some new insight, but it had to be done.

„Were you close friends with Jamie?” he asked and Ruth, a pretty redhead with red-rimmed eyes, let out a shaky sob.

„We've started working at the company at the same time. I'm an accountant.” she took a deep breath and gave Javier a pale smile „We were good friends, we're both shy. But... two months ago we...”

She stopped, pressing a hand to her mouth, and Javier was flooded with sympathy for that tiny, pale girl.

„You were dating?” he asked gently and she nodded „Tell me, did he have any enemies?”

„I don't know how anyone could hate him.” she said, her voice tight with tears „He is... he was the sweetest man I've ever met.”

„Maybe you've noticed something odd in his behaviour lately?”

„No. He was himself.” she gave him a small, regretful smile „I was going to meet his mother this month.” she said in a small voice and Javier had to clear his throat before asking the next question.

„Do you know if Jamie had any connection with Japan?” he knew that it was a stretch, but it didn't harm to ask. Ruth looked at him with confusion, but then she scrunched her nose.

„I don't think-” she stopped, clearly thinking intensively „Wait...I think he was on an internship in Japan after he finished school? Now that I think about it, he showed me some photos long time ago.” she shook her head and gave him an apologetic smile „I'm sorry, that's all I know.”

„That's a lot, thank you so much.” Javier said genuinely „And thank you for coming.”

„Of course.” Ruth nodded „I hope you'll catch the person who did that.” she added, her voice trembling.

„I'll try my best.”

She left and Javier suddenly realized that it was 8 pm and it was third day in a row when he spent twelve hours at work.

„What the hell is wrong with me.” he muttered as he grabbed his coat and keys and headed outside. He stopped by Gabby's desk, but she wasn't there, maybe she had gone home or she was doing something else. Javier didn't really care in that moment; sure, their job was important, but he wasn't going to die from lack of sleep because of that.

 

* * *

 

When he walked into his apartment he almost tumbled over his own cat, greeting him right behind the door.

„You just love me because you're hungry.” he scratched Effie behind an ear and went straight to the kitchen, followed by an excited padding of kitten paws. He fed the cat and prepared himself a sandwich, too tired to make anything more complicated. Just now all the exhaustion of the past few days was catching up too him and he alredy felt himself falling asleep. He stumbled into the bedroom, making an effort to take his clothes off and falling on a bed.

A few minutes later, when Javier was fast asleep, Effie came into the room and jumped on the bed. She curled herself next to her master, her head pressed to his side, and in that moment he dreamt that he wasn't utterly alone.

 

Javier woke up after what felt like three hours, but one look at the clock told him that he was going to be late for work. He groaned into the pillow, not feeling rested at all. Blinking away remains of sleep, he walked into the bathroom.

„Come on.” he almost whined when he discovered that he had run out of shampoo „Is it sclerosis already or what.” he muttered to himself as he started digging in a cabinet „Aha!” he exclaimed victoriously when his fingesr wrapped around a bottle. But then he looked at it closely and his smile faded, and there was suddenly a lump in his throat. He felt so weird, standing in the middle of his bathroom, with a bottle of shampoo he hadn't bought, but he knew exactly how it smelled.

„Grow up, Javi.” he muttered to himself quietly, hoping that maybe that time it would work.

 

* * *

 

 

„Good morning, detective!” Jason greeted him cheerfully when Javier walked into the station „Good news and bad news, which one you want first?”

„Bad.” Javier smiled, always impressed with Jason's enthusiasm.

„There's still no technicians' report, but I've autopsy report for you; also, there was one cut throat in Ottawa lately, but it was some gang thing and they have like, ten witnesses. By the way, you should totally regret you're late. A guy walked in here at 8 am, all dark and looking like an FBI, and he's still in the chief's office.”

„Uhh, great.” Javier said absently, distracted by the autopsy details „Thanks, Jason.”

Like he had expected, the report didn't contain anything surprising. The victim bled out rapidly because of a slit throat. The cut was clean and deep, so the killer was probably strong and probably skilled in a weapon department. Beside that Jamie Walters had no injuries. It was very unusually quick autopsy, so Javier suspected that chief had pulled some strings. Javier was grateful for that, he could use every help.

He barely sat down at his desk when Gabby stormed in, her face full of triumph.

„He was an intern in Sato Sotwares!” she exclaimed loudly and he looked at her with confusion as she continued „Six years ago he went there for three months after winning a competition for programmers, they hold it every year.”

„Sato? I think I've heard that name.”

„About three years ago they opened a BO in Toronto. It was pretty big deal in IT world.” Gabby exclaimed „Anyway, I've sent you a link to their website. I've found the internship archive, but it's all in Japanese, we can sent it to a translator later. Also, I'm still waiting for Walters' phone register.”

„Wow. That's a lot of info.” Javier really couldn't understand how some people were so cheerfull so early „Thanks, Gabby.”

„At your service.” she saluted briefly before running out. Javier shook his head with amusement and checked his email. He still wasn't sure about this whole Japan theory- well, there wasn't even any theory, it was more like a hunch, but he had to take it. He read about Sato's company very briefly and then moved to the archive pages; just like Gabby had said, it was all in Japanese. Javier winced, wondering what was with that day and painful memories, and tried to read it anyway. His speaking skills were much better than reading, so he was only able to understand some basic information about Walters. There was also a photo of him, holding some certificate and smiling shyly at the camera. He looked so proud of himself, Javier's stomach twisted when he thought about the lifeless body he had seen the day before. Feeling uneasy, he clicked a small arrow to see who was the lucky intern the next year-

\- and he almost fell from his chair.

It was Kumi Adachi.

He found her file with shaky fingers and compared the two photos. It was definitely her.

That was so big.

„Hey chief, you won't belie- oh.”

He opened the door to the chief's office and suddenly he was paralyzed by dark, unfamiliar eyes in front of him.

„Ah, Javi, great, I was about to call for you.” chief Orser's voice brought Javier back to reality. „Please, get to know each other. Detective Javier Fernandez, agent Yuzuru Hanyu from interpol bureau in Tokio.”

„Pleasure to meet you.” the guy said, standing up to shake Javier's hand, and he finally got to look at him more closely. He looked smooth, from his styled hair to soft facial lines and tailored suit. He looked tidy and elegant, and Javier felt uncomfortably underdressed in his jeans and blue button-up.

„Same.” he said, clearing his throat. He sat in front of the chief hesitantly, feeling confused „I'm sorry, but I'm feeling a bit lost.”

„Maybe I'll let agent Hanyu explain.”

„Of course.” the Japanese man said and Javier found himself being slightly distracted by his accent „A few days ago you asked for information about Adachi Kumi, who was murdered in her hotel room, correct?” Javier nodded silently „You sent us an information that her throat was sliced.” he stopped for a second, his eyes darting to Javier's for a the briefest of momets „In the past two weeks there were two murders like that in Japan. The same death cause and-”

„Let me guess, they both worked in IT and they were interns in Sato Softwares.” Javier threw in; the second thing was a bit of a wild guess, but judging from Hanyu's expression, he was right.

„What?” the chief asked and Javier turned to him.

„I just found out.” he glared at agent Hanyu and then back at chief Orser „So what are we doing? Is interpol taking over this case? Because the last victim was Canadian-”

He could swear there was a pleasant glimpse on Hanyu's face when he mentioned handing the case to him, but the chief shook his head.

„I talked with agent Hanuy's chief and we agreed that you should work on the case together. Are you okay with that?”

„Sure.” Javier shrugged. To be honest, since Patrick's sudden retirement he was snowed under and that case was already crazy challenging, so he was actually thrilled with having a partner. Agent Hanyu, on the other hand, didn't look too enthusiastic, but he nodded silently in Orser's direction.

„Awesome. Javi, take agent Hanyu to your office, get familiar with new data and share all we've got. Keep me updated.”

It felt like a weird, surreal dream, and Javier woke up only when they enetred his office and he spotted all the mess around them.

„Umm, sorry about that.” he muttered with embarassement. Patrick's old desk was currently Javier's paper storage, so now he quickly took all his stuff and dropped it under his desk „Yeah, make yourself at home.”

Agent Hanyu nodded in his direction, cool and distant, and dropped his bag on his new desk.

„Can I see what you've got?”

„Yeah, sure.” Javier quickly piled up all the stuff and handed it to the other man. In exchange he got a binder filled with sheets of paper.

He very quickly learned that Hanyu's methods were different of what he was used to. When him and Patrick had been working together, they were brainstorming and exchanging everything abreast, talking almost non- stop. But apparently his new partner had other methods, because he sat down quietly and didn't say a word. The silence was a bit uncomfortable for Javier, but he decided to go with it, hoping that later it could change a little. In the end, they had met half an hour earlier and now they had to work on a case together. He was sure the other guy would open up soon.

Eiji Watanabe and Miho Yamada, both IT engineers. Just like with Walters, they apparently had no enemies and everyone was shocked with their deaths. And just like Waletrs and Adachi, they had gotten into Sato internship.

„Okay, but this doesn't make too much sense right now.” Javier said out loud „What is it, someone's murdering interns on two continents? Why? He was jealous or something?”

„We need more information before speculating.”

Javier blinked, startled by Hanyu's chilly voice.

„Well I think it's always good to start with some ideas, even the craziest. People are capable of anything.” he said with a shrug; it was his method of work.

The Japanese man didn't say anything, he just stared at Javier, a slight flash of disapproval in his eyes. Javier cleared his throat, slightly uncomfortable, but then he was saved by an angel.

„I've got the phone register and technicians' report!” Gabby exclaimed happily and then her face turned into confusion when he saw a stranger „Oh, hello.”

„Gabby, this is agent Hanyu from interpol, we'll be working on the case together. Gabby's our saviour, if you need to find any data you just go to her.” Javier explained shortly „Thank you so much, Gab.” he took the files and looked through them quickly „Oh shit.”

„What?”

„His laptop was totally cleared. No data.” he shook his head „Of course he could've done that, but it also could be the killer's doing. How was it in Japan?”

„Yamada and Watanabe's computers were cleaned too.” agent Hanyu said, looking through papers „But Adachi didn't have hers in her apartment in Japan. You haven't find it either?”

„No.” Javier shook his head „So the killer took it?”

„Probably.” Hanyu nodded. Their eyes met and Javier felt a strike of excitement. They could risk a hypothesis that those people had been killed because of something they had been working on.

They both digged into the reports, but they were slightly disappointing. No sespected fingerprints, no signs of breaking in, no suspected callers. Javier sighed with frustration, rubbing his eyes. He glared at Hanyu, who was analysing data in silence, and cleared his throat, feeling awkward.

„Hey, I don't want to be rude or anything, but since we're partners now, maybe we could drop all the detective and agent stuff and just go with our first names? I mean, this case can take long months and-”

„We're co- workers.” Hanyu said, not even sparing him a look and Javier flinched slightly „I didn't come here to make friends, detective.”

Javier stared at him, blinking.

He knew that Japanese people tend to be reserved and very professional, but he was hoping to have a good partnership in that case, or at least a friendly atmosphere. But for now the other guy was treating him like someone annoying teenager whom he had to tolerate.

„Fine.” he said simply, because what other choice did he have? Maybe Hanyu was just a patronizing asshole who didn't think that Javier was worthy working with him. Well, his loss.

„Mary Walters is here.” Jason sticked his head to the room and Javier sat upright.

„Could you bring her?” he asked and Jason nodded.

„Mother of the last victim.” he explained to his _not- a – partner_.

Mary Walters was a beatiful woman with face changed by tears and sorrow. She confirmed her son's stay in Japan, but she couldn't give them more valuable informations.

„Did you notice something different in his behaviour lately?” Javier asked and she shook her head.

„No, he-” she stopped, narrowing her eyes „There was something, but I don't know if-”

„Everything is important.” Javier encouraged her gently. He was grateful that agent Hanyu wasn't interrupting, just watching and writing something in a notepad.

„I wanted to buy land in the countryside and build a small house. I'm tired of living in a city. And Jamie gave me money.”

„How much?”

„100 000.” she muttered and Javier narrowed his eyes. He needed to see Jamie's bank history as soon as possible.

„He managed to save that much money?”

„I don't know, but he-” she swallowed hard „He gave it to me in cash.”

Javier glared at agent Hanyu, who looked back at him. That was a big thing.

„Thank you so much.” he said and Mary Walters nodded, a ghost of smile on her lips.

„You'll catch them, right?”

All what Javier wanted was to reassured her that yes, they would; but he knew that he couldn't do that. So he just gave her his most reassuring smile.

„We'll do everything we can.”

When she left Javier grabbed his phone and made a quick call.

„Gabby says she'll bring us his bank history in two hours. Hungry?”

 

„Good evening, detective!” Carolina smiled broadly when Javier entered her small restaurant „Haven't seen you in a while!”

„You know I'm always coming back.” he smiled back as she led them to their table.

„And you're bringing someone with you!” she gave him a sly smile „New partner? Or maybe a da-”

„Co- worker.” Javier said casually, not bothering with looking at his companion „Thank you.” he nodded when she gave them menues and left them to think.

„Their Ciceri e Tria is awesome.” Javier offered politely „But everything in here is very good.”

„Undoubtedly.”

Javier looked at him once again, all sharp lines and smooth surfaces, and in that moment he decided to call him by his name. Well, only in his mind, but he liked to think that it would irritate the other man. And Javier would like to irritate him, just a bit.

Carolina came back a moment later to take their orders- _Yuzuru_ ordered Carbonara, how boring- and they fell into that slightly akward silence again. Normally Javier would like to start a casual conversation, to learn something about his new _co- worker-_ but Yuzuru was cold as ice and apparently not happy with the fact that he couldn't work solo. Still, silence wasn't a comfortable thing for Javier, so he risked opening his mouth. The other guy didn't like him anyway.

„Where are you staying?”

„In Two Leaves.”

Javier knew that place; it was a nice hotel close to his own apartment. He would think that interpol agent could afford something a bit more fancy, but in the end he had no idea how high Yuzuru's pay was.

„Is it your first case abroad?” he asked, hoping that subject wasn't too personal.

„I worked in Korea and Australia before.” Yuzuru said, his face still a cool mask.

„Cool, I always wanted go to Australia.” Javier said without thinking and he could feel Yuzuru's eyes boring into his soul „Uhh, I mean, sounds interesting. I'm stuck in this city. Not that I'm complaining-”

„Why don't you have a partner?” Yuzuru asked, interrupting him abruptly, and Javier blinked, taken aback.

„He retired a few months ago.”

„Why?”

„He got married and wanted to have calmer job.”

„His wife asked him to do that?” Yuzuru pressed, showing some surprising interest in that case.

„No, it was his decision.” Javier explained „Things like that can change our priorities.” he added, and there was a sting in his chest once again, but much lighter than in the morning.

Yuzuru's eyes widened for the briefest of moments, but then they were unreadable again. He nodded, as in thanks, and Carolina chose than moment to bring them their food. But before they could even touch the cultery, Yuzuru's phone rang.

„Do you mind?” Yuzuru raised his eyebrows and Javier shook his head quickly.

„No, it's fine, but-” Javier wanted to warn him loyally that he could understand Japanese a bit, but Yuzuru already answered the call and Javier clamped his mouth shut.

„ _Yes, chief.”_ Yuzuru said, clearly listening to the guy on the other side of the line _„Two victims in here, one Canadian. Yeah, I'm working with a detective.”_ a few words Javier couldn't understand and then _„Not a type of person I'd like to work with. But I'll manage.”_ he said as if he was a great sufferer and Javier almost choked while drinking his water.

Well, it was official now. Yuzuru Hanyu, a mighty interpol agent, was a patronizing asshole and Javier was on a highway to disliking him too. Too bad he was nice enough to give him another chance.

„Enjoy your meal.” he said simply when Yuzuru ended the call and finished his food without looking away from the plate.

Javier didn't have anything against the other man, he barely even knew him; but he wanted to solve the case and he couldn't do that working with someone who barely opened his mouth and behaved like a block of ice.

„You know, forgive me if I'm too straightforward.” he said easily when they were walking back to the station „But I'm under an impression that you're not very happy that you've to work with me on this case.”

Yuzuru actually stopped, clearly stunned by that blunt statement.

„It's fine.” Javier reassured him, smiling sweetly „You don't know me, in the end. And I totally get that you'd prefer to work alone. But I gotta tell you, I'm pretty damn good at my job. So I guess the more we communicate, the faster we solve the case and the sooner we can go back to being lone wolves. What you say?”

Yuzuru stared at him speechless, and Javier quite enjoyed that look on his face. But a moment later the Japanese man collected himself and smirked, all confident yet again.

„Good reasoning, detective Fernandez.”

Javier smiled back.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The case gets more and more complicated while Javier has doubts if he and Yuzuru are able to make this not- a- partnership work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was writing this chapter in a really weird places during my vacation and when I came home yesterday I started rewriting it, this story took over my life. It's maybe not super interesting buuuut I've big plans for next chapters :D I had [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ttWnB-Yprw) on my mind while writing, especially during last scene. Hope you enjoy!

 

Javier was going to be late.

It wasn't his fault that time, he just had spent half an hour on finding something decent to wear. He just knew that Yuzuru would be wearing that fancy suit again and Javier didn't want to feel underdressed again. But to his luck the only clean shirt was a plaid button-up and he could only imagine Yuzuru's face. It would be hilarious, but also probably a bit embarassing. At least it would keep him warm.

Javier shook his head and checked how many stops were left. He sighed and leaned his head against a window; he wasn't sleeping well lately and it was leaving him exhausted all day long. That case was already draining, sucking out all his energy. It was hard to believe it's been only three days since Yuzuru had come and Javier's little working routine got turned upside down.

When he had been working with Patrick, they had a system. Javier wasn't an early bird, so Patrick would cover for him and leave a bit earlier to go on a date or something, and Javier would stay a bit longer. Patrick was systematic and didn't mind taking care of paper work, while Javier was better at questionings and getting statements out of suspects. They were great partners and even better freinds, and Javier liked to think it was why their ratio of solved cases was so high.

It was all different, with Yuzuru. The Japanese agent granted Javier's wish and their communication was on a decent level now, but it didn't really change anything. For the most of time they were sitting in the same room silently, opening their mouths only to exchange information and observations. They weren't really working together, but next to each other, and Javier didn't know what to do about it. He didn't want them to be best friends or anything; he just wanted to have a healthy working atmosphere and Yuzuru was distant and chilly like a faraway planet. He clearly preferred working alone and didn't want to change anything in his methods.

The train Javier was in stopped at his station and he rushed to the surface. When he left the underground he immediately saw Sato Softwares' headquarters- it was a tall building, all steel and glass, Javier could almost smell money in the air.

Just like he had feared, Yuzuru was already there, waiting for Javier with a slight disapproval on his face.

„I'm sorry.” he said, a little bit breathlessly „I was-” he wanted to make up something, but he clamped his mouth shut, sensing that Yuzuru wouldn't buy it anyway.

„Let's go.” Yuzuru said shortly and Javier followed him inside.

The smell of money was even more intense now; the lobby was arranged in a minimalisic style, but Javier was pretty sure that one sofa standing there was worth more than his two months salary.

„How can I help you?” the receptionist asked, greeting them with a professional smile.

„Detective Javier Fernandez, agent Yuzuru Hanyu. We've a meeting with mr Sato.” they had contacted him two days before, to make sure that the mighty businessman would be able to find time to talk with them. To their luck, he was spending most of his time in his Toronto office- Javier had no idea why he would choose it over the one in Japan, but it was really convenient for the investigation.

„Of course.” the woman nodded; she clicked something on her computer and handed them two identificators „Mr Sato's office is at the eleventh floor.”

„Thank you.” Javier nodded and they headed to the elevator.

If Javier was on his own, he would probably take the stairs. It was always some kind of work- out and he wasn't a big fan of elevators. Not that he was scared or anything, but there was something slightly disturbing for him in to be trapped in a box hanging on a steel line.

They stepped into the elevator and suddenly the silence between them felt uncomfortable in such a small space.

Javier hated uncomfortable silence.

„What was that guy's name, again?” he asked and Yuzuru glared at him, probably wondering how someone so unprofessional could be a police detective.

„Hidetoshi. Hidetoshi Sato.”

„Ah!” Javier brightened up immediately „Like that football player!”

Yuzur looked at him blankly so Javier continued, happy to have a reason to talk.

„Hidetoshi Nakata? One of the greatest football players in the history of-”

„I've no idea what you're talking about.” Yuzuru said coldly and Javier gaped. Of course, no small talk.

They arrived at the right floor before the situation could get more awkward. They were greeted by an elegant security worker in a suit that was almost as nice as Yuzuru's and Javier felt hysterical at the thought of his plaid shirt.

Sato's office was almost as big as Javier's apartment. Hidetoshi himself was a tall, distinguished man in his fourties, who stood up from behind his desk when he saw them.

„Welcome. Agent Hanyu, I assume.” he nodded in Yuzuru's direction and then moved his gaze to Javier „And detective Fernandez?”

„We're grateful you've found time for us, mr Sato.” Javier said politely before sitting on one of the chairs Sato showed them.

„Of course.” the businessman nodded, sitting behind his desk again „Please, take your coats off, it's really warm in here. I'm still not used to Canadian weather so the heating is on a maximum.” he smiled and Javier felt a string of sympathy for him.

„I can relate.” he said with a slight smile and had to surpress a chuckle when Yuzuru eyed his outfit with dread.

„So, how can I help you?”

„There was a series of murders, here and in Japan.” Yuzuru went straight to the point „We've found out that all victims used to be interns at your company in Japan.”

Sato's eyes widened.

„What?”

„Eiji Watanabe and Miho Yamada were killed in their apartments in Tokio on 10th and 12th of January. Kumi Adachi and Jamie Walters died last week.”

Sato shook his head slowly, clearly very moved.

„This is horrible. I don't- I've never really met them.”

„How so?”

„I'm not dealing with interns by myself. Some years ago I thought it would be a good idea to make that program for young, skilled IT specialists. But that was all. My company is really big and demands all my attention. I never had time for interns.” Sato explained and Javier thought that it made sense. Sato Softwares was a worldwide brand and its leader had a lot on his plate, so for sure he didn't have time for some youngsters who would come and go after a few months.

„So you've no idea what they were working on?” Javier asked and Sato shook his head.

„Not really.” he answered, clearly a bit embarassed „But I'll call the right people immediately and tell them to contact you in no time.”

„Thank you.” Yuzuru nodded „Do you have any idea why someone would want to kill them?”

„No. I'm sure they didn't have any information about the company that could be valuable for anyone.” Sato winced „Maybe it is just an awful coincidence?”

„I don't think so, mr Sato.” Yuzuru said politely. He shot Javier a short glance before turning back to the man in front of him „I think it's all for now, thank you so much-”

„Please, wait a second.” Sato said suddenly, his eyes growing huge „On which days the murders were comitted?”

„10th and 12th in Tokio-” Yuzuru started and Sato inhaled sharply.

„I was in Japan then. I went to visit my family for the New Year, then took care of the business and came back here on 14th.”

Javier looked at Yuzuru, who for the first time since they had met looked slightly confused.

„Well, that's- did something strange happen during that time?” Yuzuru asked, clearly thinking hard about what was happening. Javier was confused too. It had to be connected somehow, it would be too much of a coincidence. But for that moment nothing made any sense.

„Nothing I can think of.” Sato said, his brow furrowed „My associate was there with me since 6th, maybe you'd like to talk to her also... She's not here now, but maybe she could help you.”

„That would be great, thank you so much.” Javier smiled slightly „If you remember something, please contact us.”

„Of course.” Sato said, looking very concerned „Anything I can do to help.”

„Well now it's getting interesting.” Javier chuckled rather humorlessly when they stepped outside the building and headed to the nearest subway station „Any idea what the hell is going on?”

„It's really complicated.” Yuzuru shook his head „I don't understand. Is his visit connected with murders? We need to find out.”

Javier already knew that he wouldn't be getting any more words from Yuzuru for now, so he silently walked next to his _co- worker,_ deep in thought himself.

They didn't exchange a word on their way to the station.

 

When Javier had been rushing out of his apartment in the morning, he forgot about his beanie _and_ gloves, so when they reached the police station he felt as if his ears and fingers were to fall off.

„I'm gonna go to the kitchen to make some coffee, you want something?”

„I will be right back.” Yuzuru said and Javier knew that he would go to their office and bring the box with tea he was keeping in a drawer of his temporary desk. A piece of home, tucked safely between sheets of paper.

Javier could relate.

When he walked into the kitchen the coffee machine was already working and someone was singing off key while looking through the fridge.

„Are you stealing Tessa's lunch again?”

Scott turned around rapidly, with clearly not his box in his hands, and he definitely didn't seem ashamed.

„I'd steal yours, but you never bring any food.” he pouted and Javier laughed at that.

„I don't know how she can still stand you.”

„She loves me and stuff.” Scott waved his hand „Wanna some coffee? I think it should be enough for two cups.”

„Have I ever rejected a coffee?” Javier rolled his eyes. He checked if the electric kettle had water in it and turned it on „Yuzuru wants to make tea.” he explained when Scott looked at him questioningly.

„Aww, you're finally on first name basis?” Scott cooed and Javier rolled his eyes.

„Maybe after two months he would be able to spell my name.” he knew he sounded a bit harsh, maybe mean, but Scott just grinned.

„You know what, I'm gonna stick here for a minute longer, I just gotta finally meet him.”

And just like in a perfect scenario, a second later Yuzuru walked in. He looked a bit startled when he saw Scott there, but he nodded politely and Javier knew that he was the one who had to deal with all the ceremonies.

„Agent Yuzuru Hanyu, detective Scott Moir.” he said flatly, flinching internally how formal he sounded. Luckily, Scott was a vulcano of energy and didn't really have any inhibitions.

„Just call me Scott!” he grinned „Great to meet you. I'm kinda jealous tho, I always wanted to work with an agent, you guys are so cool.”

Yuzuru looked a bit overwhelmed with all that happy energy Scott was radiating and Javier felt some wicked pleasure. Yuzuru probably thought that Javier was aggravating and loud, he was lucky he didn't get stuck with Scott.

„Thank you.” Yuzuru finally managed, polite as always. Javier knew it was going to get really awkward in a moment and he was frantically trying to figure out how to prevent that. Luckily, another angel appeared just in time to save him from his misery.

„Are you stealing my lunch again, Scott?” Tessa asked, taking the box from Scott's hands.

„I forgot mine.” he whined and she rolled her eyes.

„You know damn well that I've prepared two portions.” Tessa said and Scott's face brigthtened up.

„You're the woman of my life!”

„Yeah, sure.” she chuckled and Javier cleared his throat.

„Tessa, this is Yuzuru Hanyu from interpol, we're working on a case together.”

„Ah yes, of course.” Tessa smiled at Yuzuru brightly „So nice that Javi has someone to work with, he's been a bit overworked lately-”

„Yeah, you look like shit bro, no offence.” Scott said with his mouth full of pasta salad „You should-”

„Yep, that's enough.” Javier cut the conversation off; he really wasn't in a mood of remarks about his life „See you later, guys.” he walked out of the kitchen, hearing Yuzuru's footsteps right behind him „So, what should we do-”

„Can I ask you a personal question?” Yuzuru asked abruptly and Javier gaped, surprized. That was the first time Yuzuru showed any interest in Javier's life, so maybe he was an actual human being and not a cyborg.

„Umm, sure, go for it.”

„Are you Canadian? At Sato's office you said- I started wondering.” Yuzuru said carefully, as if he wasn't sure if he had a right to ask.

„Well, I've my passport.” Javier said lightly; that question wasn't anything new to him, so he had the answer prepared „My family moved here when I was twelve, but I'm from Spain.”

Yuzuru nodded and then tilted his head a little, his eyes dark and questioning.

„Do they still live here?”

Javier could feel his own smile falling. He turned his eyes away, looking at the wall.

„They moved back to Spain a few years ago.”

The silence that fell after those words felt heavy and Javier could feel Yuzuru's eyes boring into him, but he didn't turn around so the other couldn't see his face. It wasn't time to get emotional. He had to get a grip.

„Okay, let's go back to work.” he turned back, a slightly forced smile on his lips. He digged into the papers and after a moment he was able to clear his head and focus on the case.

His major question now was when Walters had gotten so much money from. There was no trace of that amount in his bank history, so he had been getting it in cash? But why? That was really fishy and Javier had a feeling it was connected with the murderer's motive. He was also thinking about the statement from Adachi's mother- she said that she couldn't contact her daughter for a week before she was murdered. She had disappeared. Or maybe... maybe she was hiding?

What was the most mysterious for Javier was the fact, that there was no evidence that the victims knew each other. No connection on social media, no traces in their phones, computers or notepads. Nothing. The only thing that was binding them was that damn internship.

There was a quiet knock to the door-frame and Javier raised his head to meet Gabby's smile. Since it was also Yuzuru's office, she stopped bursting into the room with a speed of light and loud exclamations.

„I've got bank reports of Adachi, Yamada and Watanabe. Sorry it took so long, there were some diffculties with getting all the procedures done.” she said, handing copies to Javier and Yuzuru.

„You're irreplaecable.” Javier smiled and she blushed.

„That's one is Keiji's doing, he's really doing wonders.”

„And who's Keiji?” Javier asked, noticing with amusement that Gabby's blush deepened.

„Just a poor minion like me, but he works in Tokio.” she said and then leaned forward a bit, lowering her voice „We skyped a little. He's really cute.”

Javier needed all his willpower to keep a straight face.

„Also” Gabby said louder, shifting her eyes to Yuzuru for a moment „Jason said Iva Kostelić called and said she would be here in half an hour.”

„Who?” Javier looked at Yuzuru, but his face was blank.

„You're hopeless.” Gabby rolled her eyes „She's the vice-president of Sato Softwares, jeez.”

„Ah, sure.” Javier smiled bashfully „Thank you so much.”

„I'll tell Jason to let her in when she arrives.”

Adachi and Watanabe's bank reports weren't strange at any points, but Yamada's actually woke him up. Because his account was full of money- almost 200 000, counting in dollars. And what was weird, the money hadn't come through a transfer- it came by systematic cash payments in a bank, every two months, more or less, for the past year and something. So now they had proof that at least two victims had some mysterious sources of money that could be illegal.

Javier had a sudden thought that it could be a mafia thing or something, but then someone cleared their throat quietly.

Iva Kostelić was one of the most beautiful women Javier had ever seen. Tall, with dark hair, striking green eyes and olive skin. She was dressed in an elegant grey dress and Javier thought that she probably came to the station right after some business meeting.

„Thank you so much for coming here so quickly.”

„Of course.” she smiled, nodding „Hidetoshi already told me about this awful situation. I will do everything I can to help.” she had low, melodic voice with a slight accent, and Javier kinda liked it.

„You've been to Japan since 6 th of January to 14 th , correct?” Yuzuru cut in, and if Javier didn't know him a bit already, he would think that he sounded slightly annoyed.

„Yes.” Kostelić nodded „We visited our office in Tokio, there were some bureaucracy we had to take care of.” she explained and then she hesitated for a moment before continuing „When Hidetoshi told me what was it all about- there's something he doesn't know, but I think it's important.”

„Go on.” Javier said with an encouraging smile and she took a deep breath.

„Raymond Mathieu.” Kostelić said quietly „Hidetoshi's contact details aren't public, but mine are. And for the past few months I've been receiving some... disturbing messages.” she winced, clearly uncomfortable. Javier glanced at Yuzuru, who leaned forward a little, his eyes focused.

„He was very upset that he couldn't get into our internship. He was apparently trying for a few years in a row and he- he seemed really mad that he was never picked. He's convinced he's better that all the other interns we chose.” she said, her voice tight.

„Did he threaten you?”

„Well, not directly, but it was... very unpleasant.”

„Have you seen him in Japan during your stay?” Yuzuru asked and Javier knew where he was going. It was a good trope. A bit risky, but possible.

„I haven't, but-” she didn't finish, but it was enough for Javier, and apparently enough for Yuzuru too.

„Thank you so much.” Yuzuru said „Have you deleted these emails?”

„I don't remember.” she shook her head slowly „If I still have them, I'll send them to you immediately.”

„Of course.”

„It's everything for now.” Javier smiled at her and she returned it. She was really attractive, he had to admit that „Thank you so much once again.”

When she left Javier went to Gabby and asked her to find everything she could about Raymond Mathieu.

„He's registered in Winnipeg.” she informed him, typing fast „I'll tell Jason to contact their police right away.”

„Thanks.” Javier said, rubbing his temple tiredly; he was kinda glad that the sucpect- because that who Mathiu was now- wasn't living in Toronto. A thought about night intervention and questioning was truly dreadful „I'll need all you can find about him. Workplace, family, if he travelled abroad. Everything.”

„I don't think I'll be able to do more today.” she shook her head, givinig him a tired smile and he put his hand on her shoulder. She wasn't a detective, but Javier knew she was working as hard as anyone else and that she was snowed under all the time.

„There's a message from the internship coordinator.” Yuzuru said when he came back to their room. Javier read it quickly, but it didn't bring anything special. There was an annual contest for young IT specialists, and the prize was a three months internship in Sato Softwares' agency in Tokio. During their stay they could see how big companies worked and learn from more experienced scientists.

Javier sighed and rubbed his eyes- he could almost feel them getting bleary. He discreetly checked time on his phone- it was a few minutes before eight. He calculated quickly that he still had time to do some groceries- his fridge was empty- and maybe he would be able to get to bed before eleven. Honestly, he would kill for some additional hours of sleep.

„I think we can call it a day.” he said „We're probably not gonna get new info today anyway, we can as well get some rest.”

Yuzuru looked at him, blinking slowly.

„We've barely made any progress.”

„Well, we've got a suspect, haven't we?” Javier asked a bit harshly „I mean, it's a bit of a strech, but he could have his wicked motive.” he had seen people commiting crimes for reasons more trivial than jealousy over a job. Yuzuru's face remained unmoved and Javier sighed.

„Come on, it's been just three days since we started working on this.” he said and Yuzuru's eyes narrowed.

„Just three days?” he shook his head, his voice steely.

„Yeah, I've unsolved cases that are months old.” Javier said, not really thinking about his words, and Yuzuru snorted.

„I wonder why.”

Javier was on his way to the door when Yuzuru's words reached him, and he stopped abruptly, turning around to look at him.

„Excuse me?”

„You told me before that you were a good detective.” Yuzuru said coldly, his arms folded on his chest „But I can't see that. You're loud, not organised, rambling.” he numerated emotionlessly and Javier's stomach made a salto „I'm just... not sure if you're a good fit.”

Yuzuru's eyes were challenging, and for a moment Javier wanted to snap. He wanted to yell at him, tell him to shove that fucking case into his ass and just leave Javier alone. But then he deflated, the whole energy leaving his body in a heartbeat.

He was so, so tired.

„Fine.” he said flatly „Okay.”

There was something in Yuzuru's expression, something new and unexpected, but Javier decided not to read into it. Instead, he marched straight to the chief's office. Luckily, he was still there, being an experienced workaholic.

„Javi, what-?”

„Can someone switch with me?” Javier asked, slumping on a chair in front of the chief's desk „I don't think we can make it work.”

Orser looked at him with furrowed brow and then leaned back with a sigh.

„What's going on?”

„I don't think we're able to work together.” Javier said, resigned „He's cool as a block of ice, but that's not the biggest problem. He barely opens his mouth and when he does it's mostly to question my methods. I just- I don't think we can solve this case together.” he wasn't happy, saying all of that, but he wasn't mad either. He was already invested in the case, of course, and he wanted to solve it. But he truly believed that someone else could do it as well as him, maybe even better, and he didn't think that his _not-a- partnerhip_ with Yuzuru could lead them to the solution quickly.

Chief studied him for a second.

„You're a great cop, Javi.” he said finally and Javier almost rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. He never considered himself amazing at his job- he was good, sure thing. Solid, but not brilliant. He had had luck with a few cases and that caused his unusually quick promotion, but he wouldn't put himself above the average.

„Let's do it that way.” Orser leaned forward a bit „Try one more day, okay? Talk to him, try to work it out. If you still think you can't do it, I'll try to find someone to take your place. Deal?”

„Okay.” Javier nodded „Thank you, chief. And sorry about all of that.”

The older man just shook his head with a slight, tired smile.

He didn't go back to his- _their_ \- office. He grabbed his coat from a hanger and went outside. It was another frigid evening but it wasn't snowing; Javier inhaled deeply through his nose, the air so cold it almost hurt . He could feel dull pain in his skull, settled somewhere behind his eyes, and he knew he would wake up the next day with a terrible headache.

„ _You're a great cop.”_

The truth was, Javier hadn't gone to police school because of some noble reason or calling. He had been young, looking for something to do with his life, and being a policeman seemed like a good job. He thought about his days at school- he had been a decent student, good at physical and shooting range, but struggling with law subjects. Professors liked him and mostly said that he would make a good detective. There was that one teacher though, a psychology professor, who had approached him a few days before graduation.

„ _You're going to struggle a lot, Javi.”_

„ _But- my grades are okay?”_

„ _I'm not talking about your grades. I mean- you're kind, Javi. And you're generous. It's going to cost you a lot, to see all that suffering from so close.”_

And it was hard. Sometimes it was so unbearable he was truly considering leaving that damn job. But at the same time it was the only thing he knew. And he was good at it. So he stayed.

He tried not to think how much it cost him.

There was a click of a door behind Javier, startling him.

„You talked to the chief.” Yuzuru said flatly, stopping next to him.

Javier didn't turn to look at him, but he still could see him in the corner of his eye.

„I asked if anyone could take the case from me.”

Yuzuru flinched visibly and Javier finally turned his gaze to him. He noticed with surprise that Yuzuru looked startled, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

„What?”

„You don't like working with me. It's clearly difficult for you.” Javier stated calmly „I'm not going to fight with you, Yuzuru.”

Yuzuru inhaled sharply and Javier realized that he had just used his first name.

He was so exhausted.

„I'll see you tomorrow.” he said quietly before turning to walk away.

„Wait-”

Javier didn't stop.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed me with love I'm anxious haha.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New leads, confusing information and a sudden change in Javier and Yuzuru's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This mess of a chapter is sponsored by [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cf5O2M5GaEA)  
> Have I mentioned that I can't really write emotions and I really CAN'T write detective stories??? Anyway, enjoy!!!

Javier woke up with throbbing pain in his temples and fog blurring his vision. He groaned, reaching for his phone and turning the alarm off, only to fall face down on a pillow again. For a second he considered calling in sick, but he knew he couldn't do that, not really. He wasn't looking forward to the day- there was an awful lot of work to be done and on the top of that, he had to deal with Yuzuru. So after ten minutes of lagging he finally dragged himself to the bathroom. He washed his face in cold water and looked at his reflection in the mirror; the guy he saw in there could definitely use a haircut and some long vacation. He looked tired. Older than 30.

Javier washed his hair with that damn green tea shampoo and even had enough time to grab a quick breakfast. His eyes were still bleary and they hurt just a bit, so he decided to put on his glasses- he really didn't feel like fumbling with contact lenses that day.

He wasn't late when he reached the station, theoretically, but the place was already buzzing. Javier wanted to go straight to his office, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he overheard a bit of a conversation that was taking place in the kitchen.

„- any leads?” that was definitely Scott's voice. Javier moved a bit closer to the door, making sure that he was still hidden.

„We've a suspect, but this case is really haywire for now.”

Javier was surprised with how casual Yuzuru sounded; he didn't seem as distant and uncomfortable as usual, which was... kinda weird.

„Wishing you luck.” oh, so Tessa was there too „And how do you like working with Javi?”

Javier flinched.

„It's interesting.”

Well, that was one way to put it.

„Nice you got teamed up, maybe you could drag him out of that cave of his.”

„Scott.” Tessa said quietly, a trace of warning in her voice, but he clearly didn't pay attention, as usual.

Javier didn't really know what to do. Should he make himself visible? Should he walk away? He was feeling slightly uncomfortable, but at the same time he was curious what they would say about him.

„What do you mean?” Yuzuru asked casually and Javier's body tensed.

„Oh, it was depressing to look at him since-”

„Scott!” Tessa hissed and it was like a signal for Javier to sober up.

„Hey guys.” he said, sticking his head into the kitchen and smiling easily „Didn't know we had some group meeting in here.”

„You'd be late anyway.” Scott said and Javier rolled his eyes „And I see you're going with a teacher look today, wanna charm some ladies?”

„All the time.” Javier answered, enjoying that short banter despite the fact that Scott had been gossiping about him just a moment before. Then he moved his gaze to look at Yuzuru, whose expression was as unreadable as ever.

„I'll be in the office.” he said, sounding formal and dry.

He slumped on his chair, staring at the piles of papers on his desk. He hid his face in his hands, groaning quietly. He was about to have a mini existential crisis when something clicked quietly right in front of him. He peeked through his fingers and saw a big cup that smelled like fresh coffee. He moved his gaze higher and saw Yuzuru, who was looking at him with strangely unsure expression.

„Can we talk?”

Javier wasn't really in a mood, but he had promised that to the chief. And in the end, he wasn't conflictual. He liked to think that he was the nice one.

„Sure.”

Yuzuru sat in front of him while Javier stared at the cup between them.

The silence stretched.

„I couldn't find milk.”

Javier suddenly got a mental picture of two Apaches exchanging a peace pipe filled with coffee grains. God, he needed sleep.

„It's okay. Didn't have time to drink at home, so- thanks.” he said, taking a careful sip „So, what-”

„I want to apologize.” Yuzuru said quickly ”For how I acted.”

Javier flinched, surprized. He finally looked at Yuzuru's face and the guy looked genuine. Javier stayed silent, waiting for him to explain.

„You're not what I expected.”

„And what did you expect?” Javier asked immediately, trying not to show his confusion.

„I've worked with detectives, a lot. And usually they're... not the greatest to work with.” Yuzuru winced „I'm not used to working in friendly atmosphere.”

Javier raised his eyebrows. That was some weak ass explanation, but he let him keep going.

„My last few cases- they were more like a competition, who will gather more tropes, stay at the station longer. And I have to say, that it was okay for me. I like competitions. I think that in the end, the outcome was usually pretty good.” he shrugged, looking slightly embarassed „We've different methods and personalities, but I shouldn't have questioned your competence. I'm sorry.”

„So... you thought I'd be your enemy?” Javier asked with disbelief and Yuzuru shook his head.

„No, not enemy. I just- I thought I'd have to prove to you, to everyone that... I'm better.”

There were more emotions on Yuzuru's face than during past four days. He seemed honest and Javier had no business in being an unforgiving jerk.

„Okay, apology accepted. You're buying me lunch tho.”

Yuzuru blinked slowly and Javier had to bite his tongue not to chuckle. He guessed- hoped- they were past hostility now, but he couldn't expect Yuzuru to change in a second and respond to his jokes and open teasing.

„Okay.” Yuzuru said, but before Javier could tell him he was joking, Jason came in, clearly excited.

„Guys, they just called from Winnipeg!”

„They found Mathieu?”

„Well, yeah...” Jason said, but Javier didn't like his tone „They went to his apartment yesterday, but no one opened, so they had to get all the warrants and stuff, you know what it's like.” Jason gesticulated wildly „So in the end they intervened around 3am and found him unconcious.”

„What? Someone attacked him?”

„Probably not.” Jason shook his head „He had almost three per miles in his blood system. He was so drunk he probably fell and knocked his head on something because he also has concussion.” Jason scrunched his nose with disgust „So long story short, it will take a day or two.”

Javier actually gaped and Yuzuru looked as surprized as him, staring at Jason with wide eyes. Jason, on the other had, was excited like a hyperactive puppy.

„By the way Javi, Gabby was cursing your name for the past hour so you might want to go and make sure she won't kill you.”

Javier didn't want to get murdered, so he almost sprinted to Gabby's desk.

„Hello.” she said darkly „Here you go.” she pointed a high pile of papers on her desk „It's still not everything, wait a sec till I print the rest.”

„It's a lot.” he said carefully and she chuckled hysterically. Javier decided to shut his mouth and let her do her thing, she was clearly working very hard lately. Now she was typing furiously, printing mashine working with a quiet buzz.

„Hey Gabby?” he said, recalling something „You said that it was pretty loud about Sato a few years back. Why?”

„Huh? Ah, that was when he opened a BO in here and hired Kostelić as a vice- president. It was pretty controversial for some people, I guess.”

„Why?”

„Oh, you know, she's a woman.” Gabby snorted bitterly „Young, pretty, an immigrant. I've heard that the management wasn't too happy, but Sato's very headstrong. Which is good, she's a great specialist. I've read her PhD thesis, it was awesome.”

„Yeah.” Javier nodded absently, thinking about the woman he had met the day before. He had to check if she had sent them those threat mails.

„Okay, here you go.” Gabby handed him everything „By the way, you never asked, but there were five interns so far and four are dead.”

Javier almost choked on air. Why hadn't he thought about it?

„Last year it was some kid from Norway, just eighteen. Checked him, he's alive and well, here you have his contact details if you want.”

„Marry me.” he said and she laughed brightly.

„I'll keep that offer in mind.” she winked „Now get out, I gotta do some work for other people, I ain't your slave.”

Back at the office Javier and Yuzuru jumped into new info with new enthusiasm. It took them about twenty seconds to find out that Mathieu had flown to Tokyo on 8th of January.

„And he came back on 14th, Adachi was killed two days later.” Javier said, looking through the papers frantically.

„Motive?” Yuzuru asked, using a highlighter with a speed of lightning.

„Uhh, I guess old- fashioned jealousy? Seems like he has a criminal record, some brawls, insulting an officer...” Javier skimmed through the words „Oh great, he was also kicked out from school for beating up his classmate. Someone here has some major anger issues.”

„He got angry and decided to eliminate those who took his place?”

„Seems solid.”

„But there's one thing I don't understand.” Yuzuru said, his brow furrowed „Why was he there at the same time as Sato and Kostelić? That doesn't make much sense.”

„Maybe he wanted to kill them but he couldn't so he decided to kill the interns?” Javier suggested, unsure. It was all a big dark mess and every speculation seemed kinda weird, but they had to start somewhere.

It was surprising, how quickly the atmosphere got better, comparing to what it used to be. After Yuzuru's apology it was as if the air was cleared and they could actually communicate without any uncomfortable feelings. They didn't start babbling all of the sudden, they still worked in silence a lot, but when they spoke it was straightforward and polite, without any cold distance.

Javier liked it.

Yuzuru was a reserved person and Javier didn't expect him to open up suddenly and start sharing information about his personal life. Javier wouldn't mind to know more about him, but he respected his boundries. So after a few hours of some pretty good job he was actually quite hopeful for the future of the case.

Kostelić sent them an email with four attached messages from Mathieu's account. It was mostly offensive rambling, but _You'll regret it, I promise you that_ thrown in between insults made them look at each other.

„You think we could treat it like a direct threat?” Yuzuru asked and and Javier narrowed his eyes.

„It's a bit of a stretch, but I think it's good enough to lock him for 48 hours.”

That was crucial for the case at that point, to not let him get away. Now they had some legal basis to make him a suspect and not a mere witness. Javier made a quick trip to the chief's office and he offered to deal with all the procedures between them and Winnipeg, happy that they worked their issues out. Feeling difinitely more positive, Javier came back to Yuzuru.

They worked comfortably for some time when suddenly Javier's phone rang loudly. He reached for it absently, not bothering with looking at the caller ID.

„Detective Fernandez.”

„Hello, Javi.”

He sobered up in a heartbeat. He looked around discreetly, weighing his options. He didn't really want to go outside as the wind that day was pretty mean. And finding a quiet corner at the station would be a miracle at that hour.

„I don't mind.” Yuzuru said politely, turning away a bit to give him some kind of privacy. He was apparently trying to be extra nice to make up for his previous behaviour „Or I can leave if you want?”

„No, that's fine.” Javier said quickly, deciding to be an adult. He took a deep breath and answered.

„Hi, Miki.” his voice came out a bit strangled and he had to clear his throat „Umm, what's up?”

„I haven't heard from you in a long time.” she said without accusation, her voice warm „How are you, Javi?”

„Good, good. I'm good.” he rambled „I, uh, I've got a lot of work, but I'm fine. It's very cold.”

Yuzuru looked up at him, his eyes confused, and Javier regretted not going outside.

„I hope your fridge has more than a bottle of ketchup in it.” Miki said lightly and Javier's heart clenched at her tone, a memory of all the banters they used to have about Javier's poor supplying skills.

„Sure. It's totally full.” he swallowed hard „And how are you?”

„We're good. I've got that job and... yeah.” a moment of silence „We miss you, Javi.”

„I miss you too.” his throat was dry.

Miki didn't say anything to that; Javier could hear her breathing on the other side of a line and he wondered bitterly why it had to be that way now. Uncomfortable and distant.

„I've found your shampoo.” he blurted out and he almost facepalmed at how pathetic he was. Miki, on the other hand, chuckled brightly, that familiar, warm sound.

His heart ached.

„Javi-” she started but then there was a distant fumbling and hushed chatter in Japanese „Okay, someone in here should be asleep now but just can't wait to talk to you, so...” and before Javier could wrap his mind around what was happening, there was a cheerful voice exclaiming into his ear „ _Javi! I miss you!”_

His heart actually stopped for a second.

„ _Hello, sweetheart.”_ he answered in Japanese and he noticed how Yuzuru's expression changed. He instantly regretted not telling him about his poor Japanese skills but the damage was done now _„Why don't you sleep, huh?”_

„ _I've heard mommy talking to you and I wanted too!”_ she exclaimed, as eager and honest as a five year old could be _„I miss you so much!”_

„ _I miss you too.”_

„ _When will you come? I want to play football!”_

Javier blinked rapidly, trying to ignore both the pressure in his chest and Yuzuru's stare.

„ _I'll talk with mommy about it, okay?”_

He could hear Miki talking to her daughter quietly and the girl sighed adorably.

„ _Mommy says I need to go. Love you!”_

„ _I love you too.”_

„I need to put her back to sleep.” Miki said when she got her phone back „Don't be a stranger, Javi. Okay?”

„Okay.”

Javier put his phone down and finally looked at Yuzuru, whose expression was unreadable as usual.

„I'm sorry.” Javier said, shaking his head a little „Should've told you about.... my doubtful language skills.”

To be honest, Yuzuru had all the right to get mad at him. Javier was mad at himself. Sure, Yuzuru kinda had been a jerk before, but you should tell a Japanse person that you could understand their language, that was some basic human decency. He was feeling like an idiot and Yuzuru's intense stare didn't help. He was scared that he just ruined all that peaceful atmosphere they had reached just a few hours earlier.

„I'm really sor-”

„It's fine.” Yuzuru said, his lips forming into a little smirk „You've an awful accent, though.”

Javier gaped. Was that... a joke?

Maybe Yuzuru indeed was a cyborg and someone just changed his program so he would start behaving like a human being.

 

„Should we go grab that lunch?”

Javier looked up from his work, blinking. Yuzuru was staring at him, small smile on his lips and head tilted to the side.

„Yeah, sure.” he agreed quickly. For the past few hours they were digging thorugh Mathieu's background check and calling those few people who could give him an alibi for the time of murders. No alibi so far, after checking his parents and those few friends Gabby had found on his social media. Maybe it wasn't the most fascinating thing to do, but they got so engaged in it that now it was closer to dinner time.

„We can go to Carolina's.” Javier offered „I think it's Russian Wednesday today.”

„Russian Wednesday?”

„One of the waiters is Russian and Carolina lets him take over the kitchen from time to time.”

„Sounds good.”

Carolina welcomed them with a bright smile and frantic gestures.

„So great to see you again, guys! And on a special day too.” she leaned forward a bit, lowering her voice „Please, order pelmeni, Maxim went way overboard and I could feed an army now.”

Javier had to bite his lip in order to surpress a chuckle. In front of him Yuzuru was trying his best to keep his face straight.

„Sounds great. Say hi to Maxim from me.”

She left with a grateful smile and Javier looked at Yuzuru. He seemed calm and relaxed, and that was freaking Javier out a little. He really appreciated the sudden improvement of their relationship and he really, really didn't want to mess that up.

„I'm really sorry.” he offered once again „I still feel bad about it.”

„It's fine.” Yuzuru said, shrugging; then he straightened up, his eyes watchful „But... who were you talking to? If you don't mind telling me.”

Javier knew he didn't have to answer. But he truly was feeling bad and he knew that Yuzuru would hear it sooner or later from someone. Probably from Scott.

„My ex- girlfriend.” the words still burned the tip of his tongue „And her daughter.”

Yuzuru's eyes widened.

„She- they're Japanese?”

„Yes.”

„And the little one doesn't speak English?” Yuzuru pressed and Javier pressed his lips in a tight line.

It actually hurt, physically. It felt as if someone was trying to rip Javier's heart out, breaking a few ribs on the way. Memories of all the evenings spent with Miki and Hima, babbling with the girl in a weird mixture of English and Japanese. She always preferred Japanese more, though, and Javier was happy to practice, thinking of some distant, bright future.

The future was now and it wasn't as happy as he had thought.

Suddenly he realized that he was silent for a long while and he blinked rapidly, trying to snap out of his pathetic state. He smiled, hoping that it was convincing enough, but Yuzuru was wearing that unreadable expression yet again.

„She doesn't live here anymore?”

„She wanted to go back to Japan. Raise her daughter there, with her parents close.”

„And you didn't want to go with her.” Yuzuru's voice was quiet but not questioning, and Javier almost laughed.

„I would have followed her anywhere. But she didn't want me to.”

Yuzuru's face changed for the shortest of moments, twisting with something Javier couldn't catch, and then turned apologetic.

„I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.”

„No, it's fine.” Javier shook his head, trying his best to smile a bit wider „I guess everyone has a tragic love story, huh?”

„I guess.”

The silence that followed was a bit uncomfortable, but in different way than during the few days before. It wasn't cold and distant, but more... confusing. Javier wasn't sure how much he could do and not scare Yuzuru off; and Yuzuru clearly wanted to be more open and friendly, but wasn't sure how to do that.

„Well, that's not awkward at all.” Javier tried and Yuzuru actually cracked a smile. Javier felt that he was one stop away from discovering that his _maybe- finally- a- partner_ actually had a sense of humor.

„Watching you two is awkward. See from the kitchen.” said someone with heavy Russian accent and Javier grinned.

„Hi, Maxim. Heard you're the king of the playground today?”

„The tsar.” Maxim deadpanned, serving them their food and Javier almost spilled his water „You enjoy. Grandma's recipe.”

It looked edible, but Yuzuru was eyeing his plate suspiciously. But after first bite they both agreed silently that it was way more than just edible. The lunch- slash- dinner went in a pretty nice atmosphere; they even talked a little, choosing food as a great neutral topic. It would be a good ending of a day, but Javier knew that they probably still should go back to the station and do some work.

„Maybe we should call it a day.” Yuzuru suggested and Javier gaped. He could accept Yuzuru's quick change in attitude, but that was concerning. Was he sick? Or maybe... maybe he wanted to make it easy for Javier after his little pity party?

„No, I'm good, we can-”

„Javier.” Yuzuru said sternly and Javier's mind actually shut down for a second „I'll see you tomorrow.” he offered him a slight smile and walked away. Javier stood there for a moment, stupefied, and checked the time. A few minutes after six, which meant that for the first time in forever he had been working for less than ten hours.

What a nice change.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Javier did after coming to station the next morning was going to Jason, who informed him that Mathieu still couldn't be questioned because he was still dizzy from the concussion and his meds.

„They say it should take two days tops.” Jason said and Javier nodded, happy that the guy didn't get amnesia.

Yuzuru was already in their shared office and Javier immediately noticed that he looked a bit off. He was dressed elegant as always, but his hair looked as if it he had been pulling on it.

„Hey. You okay?” Javier asked, knowing that now he could do that and not expect a death stare.

„I've been calling the victims' families.” Yuzuru sighed and Javier smiled with sympathy; it was always a hard task and now the time- zones were making it even more difficult „I've got some new information.”

„I'm all ears.”

„Now that we've found out about that money both Walters and Yamada had I knew what to ask about. Watanabe's sister said one time she mentioned having a Swiss bank account.” Yuzuru said with a disgusted face and Javier understood that feeling- there was no way they could get any info about that now, not with that all privacy restrictions.

„Wow.” Javier whistled lowly „Anything about Adachi?”

„She moved to Sapporo last year. She bought a house with a garden in a very good location, so it had to be expensive.”

„So let's sum up.” Javier leaned forward and put his hands on his desk „They all had some big amounts of money from God knows where, but still no proof they knew each other?”

„Yes.”

„You think it's connected with the motive? Because I'm kinda lost.”

„What do you mean?” Yuzuru asked, narrowing his eyes, and Javier sighed.

„I don't see Mathieu's place in it. Let's assume that he killed them because he was jealous over the internship- that makes some sense. But what's with that money? If it was only one person it wouldn't be that weird, but it's all four of them. It can't be a coincidence.”

„It has to be connected somehow.” Yuzuru said, shaking his head, frustrated „We're missing out something. We gotta go back to work.”

Working was a pretty comfortable thing now. Javier still couldn't quite understand how anyone could treat investigation as some weird competition, but he decided not to judge. In the end, he had no idea how Yuzuru's field looked like and whom he had been working with before. The most important thing was that now they were doing just fine.

 

Javier was a bit surprized when Ruth Kelly appeared a few minutes before noon, looking even more fragile than before.

„I don't know if it's important.” she said, looking for something in her purse „But I've found Jamie's jacket in my apartment.” she swallowed hard, clearly trying her best not to cry „And I found this in his pocket.” she showed them one single key with a small piece of plastic attached to it „I didn't know that he was renting a locker.” she said as if she wanted to justify herself and Javier smiled at her.

„Thank you so much for bringing it.” she nodded with a slightest of smiles before she left and Javier looked at the key chain immediately. Apparently Jamie Walters was renting a locker on one of the metro stations. Javier suddenly remembered all the detective stories he had read and had a sudden vision of a locker filled with money. And maybe some cocaine.

„Ready for a trip?”

 

The locker was empty.

„Well, that's disappointing.” Javier commented „I guess it's time to visit the security room.”

„I don't think it'll give us much.” Yuzuru winced „Look at the camera.” he pointed and Javier's gaze followed the gesture.

„Ugh, seriously.”

There was only one camera near the lockers and it's location was far away from great. They could already tell that if someone wanted to hide their face, they could do it easily. Still, they had to try.

The guy sitting in the security room almost spilled his coffee when he saw them, his eyes wide.

„Ummm, we only keep footage from the last three months.” he explained when Javier told him what they needed „And, uh, the camera is pretty old, but... okay, here you go.” he handed Javier a flashdrive with an embarassed smile.

„Could you tell us for how long Jamie Walters was renting his locker?”

„Yeah, wait a sec.” the guy opened a huge, dusty notebook- Javier was surprised that he didn't have it written in some electronic version- and quickly ran through the pages.

„So, he was paying for it for almost four years.”

Javier and Yuzuru exchanged quick, confused glances. That was so much longer than Javier expected.

„Do you know if anyone else has a key?” Javier asked and they guy looked at him as if he was stupid.

„Well, the rules say you can't make a duplicate, but there's no way we can control that.”

„Yeah, uh, sure.” Javier said, mildly embarassed „Thanks for help.”

„Four years is a long time.” Yuzuru noticed on their way back to the station.

„I'm lost.” Javier admitted with a sigh. They had a suspect, sure, but the money thing was making it all more and more complex „But hey, at least we've got a movie to watch.” he joked and Yuzuru actully snorted at that. Javier smiled, delighted that his _maybe- finally- a- partner_ was showing some signs of humor. It was nice to see that Yuzuru- when he wasn't behaving like a mighty asshole- was pretty nice and compatible.

He kinda liked him already.

 

After what felt like a few hours, one cup of coffee and two cups of tea, they noticed something.

„Here!” Yuzuru hissed and Javier blinked rapidly, trying to pretend that he wasn't almost sleeping „That guy just opened the locker!”

Javier checked the date quickly- 17th of November. They watched as some guy- judging from his silhouette- walked to the Walters' locker and put something in it. Whoever that was, he didn't want to get recognized; he was wearing a cap, a dark jacket with a hood and even sunglasses. On the top of that, the footage quality was so low Javier wanted to cry with frustration. They both managed to recognize Walters, though, when he appeared on the screen with the date 19th blinking in the corner.

„Is that an envelope?” Yuzuru asked and Javier narrowed his eyes, trying to recognize what the victim took out from the storage.

„Looks like it.”

Walters came back a week later, put something inside, and the same day the mysterious guy appeared, that time with a bag in his hand, which he left in the locker. Jamie picked it up two days later.

„You wanna bet this bag is full of money?”

„But why?” Yuzuru asked, running his hand through his hair „What's in the envelope?”

„I've no idea.” Javier groaned. It didn't make any sense „It was obviously payment for something, but for what?” Javier had an unpleasant feeling that case was so much bigger than anyone could imagine.

They watched the rest of the footage. Walters had come once more, on 19th of December. The mysterious man hadn't showed up.

„I'm wondering...” Yuzuru said slowly „Let's say that all the victims got the money from the same source- that guy. I don't think it's possible that he was delivering it to them in person. And if he wasn't sending them cash in mail...”

„He has a partner.” Javier finished „We gotta send people to look through their things, we've missing something.”

„Any theories?”

„They've been working for mafia and for some reason the boss decided to kill them.” Javier said with a sigh, throwing the idea in the air. Surprisingly, Yuzuru didn't laugh it off.

„You know, it's a pretty good trope. Their computers were cleaned, so maybe they knew too much?” he said, tilting his head a little „But I think we still should focus on Mathieu for now, since we have him.”

„Agreed, just waiting for the green light from the doctors.” Javier still couldn't believe how shit luck they had, that their only suspect was a drunk idiot who knocked himself into concussion „Ugh, I need a drink.” he groaned, rubbing his face.

„My hotel has a nice bar.”

Javier really couldn't say no to that statement.

Two Leaves was a pretty good hotel and the bar was very nice indeed, with dim lights and quiet music flowing from the speakers. It wasn't very crowded, so they chose a small table next to one of the windows. Javier needed one glance at the drink list to know his order, but Yuzuru was furrowing his brow, his eyes scanning.

„You need help?”

„I'm more of a wine person.” Yuzuru admitted with a smile and Javier grinned.

„Well I can help you with that. What do you like? Sweet? Sour? Bitter?”

Yuzuru smirked.

„All of the above.” he said and Javier had a strange impression that they weren't talking about drinks anymore. Feeling a bit awhirl, he sent Yuzuru a smile and walked to the bar.

„What's that?” Yuzuru asked suspiciously when Javier put his very orange looking drink in front of him.

„Gotland summer night, with some slight modifications.”

„Ridiculous.” Yuzuru poked the straw before taking a sip „But good. Thanks.”

„Duh.” Javier rolled his eyes „I've a great taste.”

„Sure.” Yuzuru raised his eyebrows and Javier gaped. Yuzuru went from ice cold to nice and joking in one smooth flow and Javier still couldn't believe it was the same person. He decided he could test the waters even more and ask maybe some more personal question, because he knew barely nothing about his... associate. Just that he was a bit younger than him, loved competitions and liked his drinks bitter.

„So, why did you decide to become an agent?”

Javier always felt a bit left out among his colleagues, them talking about duty and sense of mission, and him just looking for something to do with his life. If he were to guess, he would say that Yuzuru was his total opposite.

„It's something I always wanted to do.” Yuzuru said simply and Javier had to bite his lip not to grin „It was my dream since I was a child and I followed it.” he shrugged and gave Javier a slight smile „I even studied international relations, because I knew it would be valuable.”

„Was it interesting?”

„Not really.” Yuzuru snorted, but then his gaze turned more serious „Can I ask you a question too?”

„Of course.” Javier thought briefly about the previous time Yuzuru had asked him something personal and how weird it turned out, so he hoped for better that time.

„Why didn't you go back to Spain with your family?”

Javier blinked. He wasn't expecting that one for sure.

„It was literally a few weeks after my graduation.” he explained „I had a job, I was building a life in here. In Spain I'd have to start over again.”

Yuzuru just nodded, still smiling, and Javier noticed that he had a really nice smile. It was that kind of smile that was making him look warm and trustworthy, and for a moment Javier considered telling him all the details. It would be nice, to say it all out loud, finally, somebody.

Javier had come to Canada all those years back, but he never really got a foothold in there, never felt fully at home. But at the same time he got used to that cold, strange country, learned its rapid English and tried to understand French, and at times it was enough to feel comfortable.

Javier never told that anyone, but he was terrified of coming back to Spain. Spain, the country he loved so much, but he was so scared that it wouldn't feel like home either. And that- that would break his heart. So he chose what seemed like a safer way. Sometimes it felt as if he was stuck, trapped between his childhood memories of Spain and familiar solitude of Canada, with no way out from that noose.

He had thought he found home, once. And he still couldn't get over it, even after all those moths.

Yuzuru cleared his throat and Javier realized that he was being weird again.

„What about you?” he asked quickly, trying to prevent the situation from getting even more awkward „You think you will move out of Japan one day?”

„I don't know.” Yuzuru shrugged „I would need a really good reason.”

„Like work?”

„I think something better.” Yuzuru said, something unnamed showing in his expression briefly, and something clicked weirdly somewhere in Javier's chest, an old memory or an entirely new feeling.

He decided not to read into in- it was painful and complicated, and Javier had enough of that lately.

Yuzuru's smile, on the other hand, was easy and kind, and he chose to focus on that.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful you're sticking with this story, guys!  
> School starts soon and I'm actually gonna study abroad this semester, so things will be a bit hectic and I don't know when I'll be able to update, but I'll try my best!  
> Since I'm so happy you're reading this story still, I've a little spoiler for you- in the next chapter we'll see the boys taking their PROFESSIONAL relationship to a new level *wink*


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Feels. Angst. Plot twists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you hear me screaming into the void? This chapter was so hard to write, almost as hard as dealing with the exchange paperwork haha I hate school. Anyway, this chapter is sponsored by [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOIF7KwXetU). Please enjoy I'm trying!

 

There was something different in the air.

Javier came to the station feeling breezy and well- rested, which wasn't so usual lately. Yuzuru was already there and he greeted him with a smile, and Javier couldn't really believe that it had been so chilly and distant in the very beggining. It was as if a wall tumbled down and showed him the real Yuzuru- reserved but kind, smart but not mean.

They had had a good time the night before. They talked about their families a little, getting to know each other slowly, and Javier decided that yeah, he liked that guy.

„Hey.” Javier slumped on his chair „What a beautiful day, huh?”

It was freezing cold and windy, and Javier was pretty sure his ears were at least a little bit frostbitten.

„And you're almost on time.” Yuzuru said lightly and Javier clutched his heart theatrically.

„I can prepare you some tea to make it up.” he offered and Yuzuru grinned, handing him a small package with tea leaves.

Javier wasn't really surprised to see Scott in the kitchen, preparing himself a cup of a morning coffee.

„Make it two.” Javier said and Scott rolled his eyes.

„Obviously. And you're what, preparing tea for Yuzuru?”

„Yep.”

„That's cute. When's your wedding?”

„Fuck off.” Javier said with a snort and Scott's smile turned into the widest of grins.

„No, really, you seem to be getting along pretty well right now.”

„Well, we worked it out.” Javier shrugged, pouring water to Yuzuru's cup.

„Figured, the hearteyes were hard to miss.” Scott said smugly and Javier almost choked.

„What?” he asked, but Scott already grabbed his cup and walked out, his laughter ringing in Javier's ears.

He was a bit confused, but decided not to pay attention to Scott's weird behaviour. He was sometimes acting like a hyperactive child and Javier had no idea how Tessa could put up with him for all the years.

„Here you go.”

„Thank you.” Yuzuru gave him a grateful smile „Oh, your phone was ringing when you were out.”

„Thanks.” Javier didn't know the caller, so he decided to call them back immediately.

„Hi!” said someone- clearly a woman- before he could even open his mouth „Thanks for calling back so quickly. Ashley Wagner in here, Winnipeg Police Department, bringing good news! Your suspect's all good to go, we can bring him to you tomorrow around early afternoon, we need to organise some transport.”

„That's great! Thank you so much for cooperation, really.”

„Sure.” Ashley laughed „The chief made it sound like it's some world peace case, we're happy to help.”

After ending the call he shared the news with Yuzuru and they both dived into work, going through all the statements, all the evidence. They had to organize everything they knew, every bit of information. Maybe Javier wasn't entirely convinced- that money thing was kind of out of place- but Mathieu was still their main suspect. Nothing fascinating happened till the afternoon; only Javier got a response from that teenage kid from Norway who had been working at Sato's the year before. He didn't really bring anything new to the case, just being excited about what he had learned.

But then Gabby stormed into the room, placing something on Javier's desk with impetus.

„They met!” she yelled victoriously. Javier narrowed his eyes, trying to make something from the photo in front of him. There was a rustling next to him and a second later he felt Yuzuru's breath on his ear, when the other man leaned over his shoulder.

„Here!” Gabby pointed and Javier inhaled sharply. It was an official photo of a group of people, taken it what looked like a conference room. In the front row, right before Javier's eyes, Kumi Adachi was standing right next to Miho Yamada.

„It was taken in Osaka, right before Christmas. It was some IT conference.”

„We've no proof that they stayed in touch, right?”

„Well, no. But look.” she showed them a few more photos „Taken on a banquet.”

On all the pictures the two women were sitting at the same table, clearly deep in conversation.

„Yuzuru.” Javier said slowly „Was it loud in the media about Yamada's death?”

„Pretty loud, yes.” Yuzuru confirmed „It was gruesome, and the newspapers had it printed the next day. It was even worse after Watanabe. Why?” he stopped for a moment and then his eyes widened „Oh.”

„Yeah.” Javier leaned back a little in his chair to look at Yuzuru „Theory time. Adachi and Yamada had a little chit- chat and realized that they were serving the same master. Yakuza. Dark lord.”

„And when Adachi heard about Yamada's murder, she got scared and went into hiding.” Yuzuru finished „Remember what her mother said?”

„Yes. Now we gotta figure out why she came to Canada.”

Yuzuru smiled broadly and Javier smiled back, and something clicked behind his ribs, and in that moment Gabby cleared her throat.

„Okayyy.” she said with a smug grin „I'm not gonna interrupt anymore. Good luck guys!”

Excited with new piece of information, they dived into work, exchanging insights and theories.

It wasn't until six when Javier's stomach growled and he realized his only food that day was a toast and three cups of coffee.

„Sorry.” he said sheepishly and Yuzuru actually laughed. It was a nice sound, bright and warm, and it somehow made Javier realize that Yuzuru was still so young. He sometimes looked like a teenager, with that smooth face and slender form; but it took one smirk or a sharp glare and there was nothing soft about him.

They ended up getting burgers that day, and Javier had time of his life watching Yuzuru's hilarious attempts not to smudge his tie with ketchup.

„You can take it off, you know.” Javier suggested „It won't ruin your outfit too much.”

Yuzuru rolled his eyes and took a bite of his burger.

„Someone has to look decent.” he said with a grin and Javier pouted.

„What's wrong with my shirts?”

„You're wearing plaid again.”

„It's freezing cold and I need something to keep my old bones warm.”

„Ah yes, I forgot, you're like sixty-something.”

It didn't feel like they knew each other for a week; there was a steady, comforatble feeling of trust and companionship, something Javier didn't really have since Patrick's retirement. It felt as if they could become real friends soon, and good partners. But then he remembered that it was only a temporary thing and he winced unwittingly.

„What?” Yuzuru asked with raised eyebrows and Javier knew he had to make something up quickly.

„I'm thinking about the murder weapon.” he said and that was a good one, actually „Because why a knife? It's messy and you need to know how to handle it, and all the cuts looked clean and professional.”

„That's true.” Yuzuru agreed „But it's harder to trace than a gun.”

„Well, that's a fact.” Javier nodded „Wondering how it'll go tomorrow.”

„Do you like questionings?”

„I'm pretty good at them.” Javier shrugged „My partner wasn't the greatest in that field, so I did the most of talking.”

„How so?”

„He would almost always end up stressing out and yelling.” Javier snorted at the memories.

„Do you miss him?” Yuzuru asked, his voice and expression careful.

„Yeah. They moved after the wedding so we can't meet very often. We were good partners.” Javier smiled „But hey, you're decent too.”

A few days before he wouldn't even think about making a joke like that. He still remembered their first encounter and Yuzuru's cold _co- workers._ He wondered how it would look after solving the case. Would they stay in touch? Would they write each other from time to time and joke about all the stuff that happened? Or maybe Javier would just let him leave his life quietly, like he had let go of everything in his life that he cared about.

 

* * *

 

Raymond Mathieu was a shaggy looking guy with pale face and big, hollow eyes. He looked lost, sitting in the interrogation room and blinking rapidly. Javier always wanted to come to questionings with clear head and trying not to get any first impressions that could cloud his judgement. But he couldn't help but notice that Mathieu didn't have the serial killer vibe to him. But that job had taught him that he couldn't take anything for granted.

„Hello.” Javier smiled politely „Do you know why you're here?”

Mathieu just shook his head silently.

„Okay.” Javier nodded and in that moment Yuzuru lay out photos of the victims on the table.

„Do they look familiar?” he asked and Mathieu turned grey; Javier wondered briefly if showing him pictures taken by forensic specialists was a good idea, but Yuzuru had suggested it could make a better impact, so they went with it.

„I've never seen them in my life.” Mathieu muttered, avoiding looking at the photos in front of him.

„Okay, let's do it that way.” Javier leaned forward a little bit „A few weeks ago you made a trip to Japan, correct?”

„Yeah.”

„Why?”

Mathieu pursed his lips and didn't say a word.

„So maybe you want to explain why did you send threats to Iva Kostelić?” Yuzuru asked and that did the trick.

„That bitch.” Mathieu spat out, his eyes suddenly glowing „Fucking liar.”

„So you're admitting it?”

„She deserved them! First she deprived me of a chance and then she fucking tricked me.” he winced „I don't know why they never chose me and some morons got into mine internship!”

„Well, these four morons are dead.” Yuzuru said coldly „And we've a lot of reasons to think that it's your doing.”

Mathieu gaped, his eyes going comically wide.

„W-what? Wait, I haven't killed anyone!”

„Why did you go to Japan then?”

„Because she called me!” he yelled „That Croatian bitch!”

„You're saying that Iva Kostelić contacted you?” Yuzuru asked, clearly confused, and Mathieu nodded fiercely.

„Yes! Well, no. She didn't. Some guy called me, saying that he was working for her. He told me she wanted to meet in Japan, to give me a chance she denied me for so long.” he said bitterly „But she didn't even met me! I spent all my money on that trip and she didn't even show up!”

Mathieu's face was red now and Javier suddenly remembered that guy still had pretty fresh head injury, so he decided to be more careful now.

„Do you remember what day that man called you?”

„It was... first week of December. Yeah, I'm sure.”

„Did he say his name?”

„I don't think so. I don't remember. He said he was working for her and she told him to call me.”

„Okay, that's all for now.” Javier said and Yuzuru nodded, following him out of the room. Working in perfect unison, they went straight to Gabby's office.

„Angel, we need Mathieu's phone register from December.” Javier said and she rolled her eyes with a smile.

„Aww, you're so sweet, I might reconsider that marriage proposal.” she said, typing on the keyboard „How's the case going?”

„Two out of ten.” Javier said and Yuzuru laughed shortly at that, quickly muffling the sound with his hand.

„Sorry.” he said and Javier smiled, actually delighted to make the other laugh.

„Okay, here we go. You're looking for something specific?”

„Did Kostelić call him?”

„Wait a sec... nope. No calls from her.”

„Try unknown numbers.” Yuzuru said and Gabby winced.

„Well, he had a lot of those. Oh, by the way!” she fished out a folder from a pile on her desk and handed it to Yuzuru „Guys from Winnipeg sent it. Seems like your suspect likes to do some slightly illegal stuff, like minor hacking and all of that. So my bet is that the unknown callers are just careful customers.”

„Sounds right.” Yuzuru sighed, going through the pages briefly „Thank you, Gabby.”

„Always at your service!”

They didn't go back to interrogating Mathieu, because they didn't really have any other questions. Beside that Yuzuru suggested asking psychologist for a professional opinion and Javier agreed, because the guy clearly had some issues and they wanted to know if he was being trustworthy as a witness.

„So there are two options.” Yuzuru said, furrowing his brow „One, Mathieu's lying to save himself, or-”

„Or someone really called him to set him up.” Javier finished for him with a sigh.

Javier went for a trip to the chief's office, asking for help with getting a warrant to search Mathieu's place.

„Do you think he could do it?” chief Orser asked and Javier sighed deeply.

„He had a motive, he had an opportunity. Everything points at him at this moment, but the case isn't over.”

„Good.” the chief nodded „And how's your partnership with agent Hanyu going? You seem pretty comfortable now.”

„We're cool.” Javier shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, and Orser smiled widely.

„I'm glad. It's so nice you see you...” he stopped for a second, as if looking for a proper word „...enjoying your work so much.”

Javier knew what he meant by that. There were moments, weeks, when Javier was feeling so burnt out it was obvious for everyone around him. But it really felt different with Yuzuru, as if he was helping Javier to find excitement again.

„Me too, chief.” he smiled briefly before standing up „By the way, I'd like to take two weeks off in March and April. I'd like to visit my family.”

„Solve this case and and I'll make it three.”

 

They worked for a bit longer before they mutually agreed that they had done enough for the day.

„So, any food preferences for today?” Javier asked; that question was like a routine now. It were just a few days, but somehow it felt like a whole lot longer. Or maybe he was just getting sappier with age.

„I'd eat anything.” Yuzuru said and winced when the wind blew a bunch of snowflakes in his face „I wouldn't mind if it was close, though. And preferably quiet.”

„Well, I think my place meets the criteria.” Javier said without thinking but Yuzuru gaped and he suddenly felt horrified. They were on great terms, but that was kind out of the blue. But then Yuzuru smiled, broadly and brightly.

„Didn't know you can cook.” he said, a little bit teasingly, and Javier grinned.

„I'm a man of many talents.” he said in a similar tone „My chicken with vegetables is very famous.”

„Sounds good.”

During a fifteen minutes walk Javier went from a slight surprize that Yuzuru agreed, then panicking because his place looked a bit like a burrow, to finally settling on feeling kind of excited.

„Try not to trip over the cat.” Javier warned as he opened the door.

„You've a cat?”

„Yeah, my faithful companion.” Javier smiled „There she is!” he patted Effie's head. She meowed but ran away when Yuzuru tried to touch her.

„Sorry, she's picky with people.” Javier chuckled „But she'll warm up to you if you stick around for a bit.” and yet again, he didn't think about what he was saying, and he could sense that Yuzuru tensed next to him. There was some weight in Javier's words, he could sense it now, and it suddenly made him fell uncomfortable, as if there was something stuck in his throat.

„Kitchen's there.” he said, brushing the weird feeling off „Come on, you're gonna cut the vegetables.”

„I thought you were going to cook.” Yuzuru said with a grin, everything going back to normality in a heartbeat.

„Don't tell me you can't handle a knife.” Javier said with raised eyebrows and Yuzuru just smirked in response.

They quickly fell into a comfortable rhytm, Yuzuru cutting veggetables and Javier taking care of the rest. The radio was playing quietly and it felt oddly intimate, to have Yuzuru there, but it also felt painfully normal, as if they had done that a thousand times before. Javier really couldn't explain what was it about, all those mixed emotions he was feeling, but maybe it was better that way. Because what really mattered was that it was good. Warm. And it felt like a piece of home, just a little bit.

Javier tried not to think about it too much.

„That's a nice song.” Yuzuru noticed, pointing at the radio with a knife. Javier turned the volume higher, the melody filling the space between them. He smiled when he realized he knew the song and he started mouthing the words to himself. It was a calming one, fitting the mood in a stranhe harmony.

„I see you agree.” Yuzuru smiled and Javier shrugged sheepishly.

The chicken turned out pretty good and they ate it in comfortable silence, Effie watching them carefully from a window still, as if she was sensing that something new and important was happening.

„Okay, I can see why your chicken is world famous.” Yuzuru said when they finished eating.

„Told you!” Javier smiled, putting their plates to the sink „You want a tour around my kingdom?”

„Lead the way.”

Their voices were light and teasing, but Javier couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy. He could't tell what was the reason of that, but he decided to work his way through it. It was just Yuzuru, his _actually-a-partner._

„Sorry for the mess.” he said bashfully when they entered his small living room „I haven't had guests in ages.”

„It's nice.” Yuzuru said, looking around „I expected more dust.”

„Wow, you're so mean.” Javier said and Yuzuru shook his head with a smile. He stopped in front of a bookcase, his gaze moving from one book to another; he was absently fiddling with his tie for a moment, before he took it off and hang on the nearest chair. And yet again Javier had a strange impression that he was witnessing something incredibly intimate, something that not many had seen. It was strange, standing on the other side on the room and watching Yuzuru getting to know those new parts of Javier's life, and it was scary how much he seemed to fit in there.

„Is that your family?” Yuzuru asked, pointing at one of the framed pictures standing on a shelf.

„Yeah. My parents and Laura, my sister.”

Yuzuru nodded and then moved his gaze to another frame. Javier noticed how his shoulders tensed for the briefest of moments before he tapped the picture gently, turning to look at Javier.

„Is that Miki?”

„Yes.”

„She's very pretty.”

„Yeah.” Javier smiled „She is.”

The biggest cliche was that it had been his first thought when he and Miki met. He remembered it so well, a trip to a store in late afternoon, and that beautiful woman with tired eyes and crying toddler in a baby carriage. He had helped her with groceries, she invited him for tea, and a few hours later they both were a little bit in love.

Yuzuru didn't say anything, just looked at him, and Javier could tell that he wanted to ask him a question.

He was right.

„Do you still love her?”

Oh, that was an easy one.

„I do.” the words left his mouth easily; Yuzuru's shoulders tensed visibly again, as if he wasn't expecting that answer, and Javier realized how it sounded. It was always hard to explain, how he felt about Miki and everything what had happened between them. Most of people was convinced that he still was madly in love with her and grieved the end of their relationship, but they were only half right.

„We've been in love for too long to let that feeling disappear entirely.” he said quietly, trying to express his emotions clearly „And whatever happened... she's my friend. My family. They both are.” he swallowed hard, his throat itching „I will always love them.”

He could still hear it, sometimes, hushed conversations, _he loved her so much_ whispered on the other side of the room. And yes, Javier loved her. He had been so in love with her that nothing else seemed to matter. But Javier knew now, after so many months, that the awful ache in his chest wasn't a result of a broken heart- it was already healed. It was longing for someone to wake up to, to share laughter and home and life. It was regret, because they had had a chance, but in the end it just wasn't meant to be.

And it hurt, because Miki was now a symbol of everything he didn't have, everything he had lost, and every chance he was too scared to take.

Yuzuru loosened up a little bit, but his eyes remained serious, careworn even, and Javier didn't want him to look at him that way. So he smiled, because that was what he did best, but Yuzuru didn't reciprocate it.

„You're a very sad person, Javier.” he said quietly and Javier suddenly felt as if a pit opened in his chest, swallowing his heart and lungs.

He didn't want people to see him that way, he didn't wantYuzuru to think he was like that, sad and lonely and bitter.

„Me? No.” he said, trying to brush it off, laugh it away, get rid of that sudden tension filling the room „I'm super fun, everyone will tell you that.”

Yuzuru took a few steps closer, shaking his head, and all of the sudden there was almost no distance between them.

„You smile a lot.” Yuzuru's hand ghosted over Javier's cheek, so close he could almost feel it „But there's so much sadness, here.” he whispered, running his thumb under Javier's eye, his touch light and gentle.There was a flicker in Yuzuru's eyes and Javier's breath hitched, not a single thought in his mind.

He didn't know who moved first, if it was him who leaned forward or if Yuzuru tipped his head a little; or maybe they met in the middle, their lips brushing clumsily, timid and unsure. Javier felt the sensation spreading in his whole body, tingling right under his skin, and his lips parted as if on its own. Yuzuru seized the moment, pulling him closer and kissing him deeper, and Javier kissed him back, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed.

He almost didn't remember how it felt, to be kissed like that, to feel so warm and just a little bit breathless. And he didn't think about Miki or about anyone else, because there was only Yuzuru, who was kissing him as if he wanted it, as if he wanted _him_.

Javier ran his hand along Yuzuru's spine, only to place it on his neck, hot skin there burning his fingertips. His thumb brushed over Yuzuru's cheek in a gentle gesture and suddenly the bubble broke.

Yuzuru froze and a second later he was backing off, Javier's hand slipping off his neck and hanging in the air awkwardly. Javier opened his mouth, feeling that he should say something, anything, but Yuzuru was looking at him as if it was the very first time they met. His face was a storm of emotions Javier couldn't untangle, and his chest ached. He took a careful step forward, not really knowing what he wanted to do, and Yuzuru drew back, something dark flashing in his eyes.

Javier stopped.

Yuzuru pressed his lips in a tight line and in that moment he looked exactly like during those few days when they could barely look at each other.

„Yuzu-” Javier tried, his throat feeling like a sandpaper.

It was all wrong. It shouldn't be like that.

Yuzuru looked at him for a second before he turned away, grabbing his jacket, and he walked out without a word.

Javier was rooted to the spot, stunned and confused, and just a little bit hurt. His eyes were roaming around the room absently, until they found Yuzuru's tie, hanging innocently from one of the chairs. Javier took it, fiddling with the soft piece of fabric. And as he was staring at soft, grey and blue stripes, he suddenly realized what he had seen it Yuzuru's eyes right before he left.

It was fear.

 

* * *

 

Javier slept badly, tossing and turning and thinking what the hell was he going to do now. Should he act like nothing had happened? Joke? He was considering apologizing, but he realized that he had nothing to apologize for; it wasn't like he had been the one to do all the... kissing thing, it was more of a mutual work. So as he was staring into the darkness of his room he managed to convince himself that it was nothing and he would get over it soon. It was just a kiss.

His heart stuttered a bit at the mere memory, but he chose to ignore it. He had to.

But Javier couldn't ignore the feeling of anxiety that took over him when he walked into the station. Yuzuru was already there, sitting by his desk and totally ignoring him.

Javier swallowed hard.

„Hi.” he slowly made his way to Yuzuru's desk „Umm, you forgot to take it. Yesterday.”

Yuzuru raised his head and stared at his tie in Javier's hand, blinking.

„Thank you.” he said, his voice flat; he took the offending piece of clothing, carefully avoiding any contact, and Javier's heart dropped. It shouldn't be like that.

„So... I think we should talk?”

„There's nothing to talk about.” Yuzuru shook his head. He stood up from his chair, as if he wanted to put more distance between them „Nothing happened.”

„Okay.” Javier was confused, because maybe nothing had happened, but why Yuzuru was looking at him with that expresionless face again? He thought they were past that. „So we're cool?”

Yuzuru only stared.

„Look, if I offended you-” Javier started, but Yuzuru shook his head.

„No.” there was a smile on his lips, small and bitter „I just forgot.”

„Forgot about what?”

Yuzuru looked him straight in the eyes then, his gaze strong and unmoved.

„That I didn't come here to make friends.”

Javier stared at him, stunned, his heartbeat picking up. Yuzuru sighed deeply and shook his head. He circled the desk and clearly wanted to move past Javier and leave the room, but in that moment Javier's senses kicked in and he made a quick move, his body acting on its own.

„Wait.” he grabbed Yuzuru's sleeve, stopping him. He could hear how Yuzuru inhaled sharply before he turned his head to look at Javier, his eyes dark and stormy.

„Don't.” he said, taking a step back, but Javier didn't let him go. Instead, he moved his hand down, catching Yuzuru's fingers with his.

He had such cool, soft skin.

„I'm sorry, okay?” Javier said, clinging to that last chance to get Yuzuru to behave like before „I get it, it was unprofessional and it shouldn't have happened, and-” he didn't know what to say, because he felt as if he was lying, the words burning his tongue, his stomach churning.

Yuzuru's hand was loose in his, and his whole body seemed stiff, and it was so far from what Javier knew, from what he wanted, that it was almost physically painful to look at him.

„Let go.” Yuzuru said quietly, and when Javier looked at him- he didn't recognize that person. Neither of them moved, just looking at each other, as if they were hoping the other one would finally listen.

„Sorry to interrupt, but they're calling you in.”

They jumped away from each other, Javier almost tumbling over a chair behind him. Jason was standing at the door, a worried frown on his face.

„What?” Javier managed, startled and confused „Jason, we're not taking any new cases-”

„Well, I know.” Jason said, tilting his head a little „A guy was shot about an hour ago in an alley next to his house. Guess who he was working for?”

 

It was a nice, quiet neighbourhood.

They got out from the car in front of a nice tenement house made of bricks. Javier immediately spotted Katelyn who waved at him from an alley right next to the building.

„What we've got?” Javier asked. Yuzuru was right next to him and Javier's whole body felt tense and uncomfortable, and he couldn't quite shake it off. He knew he had to focus, that it was crucial for the investigation, but he was feeling awfully out of it.

„Pedro Diaz, 37.” Katelyn explained, leading them to the alley „He was living in this house.”

„Family?”

„Wife and three kids.” Katelyn sighed „I don't think you can really talk to her now, paramedics had to give her some sedatives.” she shook hear head „And I bet you already know that he was working for Sato.”

„He was an IT?” Yuzuru asked and Katelyn gave him a crooked smile.

„A janitor.” she said and Javier flinched, surprized. He didn't have any time to comment that, because they approached the victim. Diaz was laying on his back, a gunshot wound in the middle of his forehead.

„This looks like an execution.” Yuzuru muttered and Javier nodded.

„I don't understand anything.” he said, looking at the dead man closely. He didn't seem to have any other injuries, but they would have to wait for a necropsy. But that was new- he wasn't an IT specialist and he had been shot. What was going on?

„Guys, we've got something.”

Javier looked at a young man in an uniform, standing close.

„Yes?”

„The guy who found the body- he also a witness.”

The witness turned out to be a homeless man with big beard and sharp, blue eyes. He looked at Yuzuru and Javier curiously.

„You from police?”

„Detective Fernandez, agent Hanyu.” Javier said, smiling friendly and the guy smiled back.

„Tom Johnson. From Vancouver, originally. Now I live mostly in that alley.”

„Could you tell us what you've seen?” Yuzuru asked and Johnson's smile faded.

„I was sitting behind a container. It's a good place, because people don't notice me when they pass by. Some guys can be assholes.” he winced „So, I was sitting there, minding my own business, when I heard Pedro's voice.”

„You knew him?”

„He was a nice guy, he would bring me some food from time to time. And his wife made me a sweater a few months back, God bless her soul.” Johnson sighed „So, I've heard him talking to someone. A woman.”

„What they were talking about?”

„I don't know, it was just a few words. And then...” he swallowed visibly, clearly disturbed by the fresh memory „I heard a gunshot.”

Javier and Yuzuru exchanged a quick gaze but immediately turned their eyes away, as if still startled by all what had happened not so long before. Javier cleared his throat discreetly.

„Have you seen that woman?”

„Only her back, when she was going back to the street. Before I was to afraid to look.” he scratched his beard sheepishly „I only know she had high heels and dark hair.” Johnson narrowed his eyes „But I think, when she was talking... she had an accent. Sounded a bit like Russian? That's all I know.”

„Thank you so much.” Yuzuru nodded in his direction and then turned to Javier „We need to go and talk with Sato and then with Diaz's wife. And check if the neighbours' heard anything.”

„Yeah, that's better than looking for some mysterious, probably Russian woman.” Javier said bitterly and then froze, his eyes widening „Oh for fuck's sake.”

„What?” Yuzuru asked and then the realization hit him too „Oh. That makes no sense. But it makes sense.”

„Guys!” Katelyn chipped in, appearing in front of them suddenly „The girl working in that bar on the other side saw a silver Kia that was parked for fifteen minutes before the murder and then left in rush. She said a woman was driving, she said she could recognize her.”

„This is great. Get her to the station, please.” Javier grabbed his phone and dialed the number quickly „Gabby, drop everything and check if Iva Kostelić owns a car.”

„Umm, yeah, sure, wait a sec... Yes, she has a Kia Venga, I will send you her plates in a moment. Wow, that's a nice car-”

„You're brilliant, I love you.” Javier hang up and looked at Yuzuru again „I feel like we've been played big time.”

Yuzuru's smile was dark and dangerous.

„I feel that game will be over very soon.”

 

„Hello, how can I help you?”

It was the same receptionist that had let them in a few days before, but that time they didn't have time for formalities.

„Is miss Kostelić here?”

„Yes, she just got back from lunch.” the girl said and Javier almost snorted inappropriately. Lunch. Sure „Do you've a meeting with her?”

„Yes.” Yuzuru nodded, showing her his badge „This time we're not taking visitor passes.” he added coldly and poor girl looked like she was about to faint.

Iva Kostelić, on the other hand, smiled widely when she saw them.

„Detectives! Didn't expect to see you, how can I help you?”

Javier glared at Yuzuru, who tilted his head a little. Javier muffled a heavy sigh and reached to his pocket.

„You're arrested for killing Pedro Diaz. You've the right to remain silent.” he said, handcuffing her and trying not to wince- he truly hated that line.

Kostelić looked at him with wide eyes, but she didn't say anything. She didn't resist when they were taking her downstairs and to their car, walking surely and with her head held high.

„Eve, please, call mr Sato and tell him I've been arrested.” was all she said while they were passing by the front desk.

After that she didn't say a word.

 

„You sure it's her?” chief Orser asked. Him, Javier and Yuzuru were sitting in his office while the officers were taking their suspect's fingerprints and filling the required paperwork.

„We're sure she killed Diaz.” Yuzuru said „Her car was there and the wintness recognized her during the lineup.”

„Okay, but what about the others? She killed them too?”

„She for sure had an opportunity.” Javier said, going through the file Gabby had brought him a few mnutes before „No idea what motive could she have for now. But it seems like she has the skill also.”

„How so?” Orser asked and Javier sighed.

„Her father was in military. I bet he taught his only daughter how to deal with weapons.”

„Hold on a second.” chief Orser straightened up „She's a citizen, right?”

„Yes. Her family left Croatia after war in 1995, she got her passport pretty quick after that.”

„Oh thank God.” Orser sighed „At least I don't need to put up with any embassy now.”

There was a short knock to the door and Jason entered with an apologetic smile.

„I'm sorry to interrupt, but Kostelić asked for a lawyer.”

„Great.” Yuzuru said gloomily „There's no chance we'll be able to question her today.”

Javier nodded silently; it was already late and Kostelić had a right to talk with her defender before questioning.

„You can do it tomorrow. You did a great job today.”

They left the chief's office together and Javier could sense tension building up between them, so he decided to try one last time. Maybe after whole day Yuzuru would behave like before.

„So... you hungry?” he asked with a hopeful smile, wishing for the best. Even during those few first days, when the hostility was heavy in the air, they would go out together to eat, just because of basic courtesy.

„No, thank you.” Yuzuru said, and it was so obvious he was lying it made Javier angry.

He was mad and confused and hurt, because he didn't deserve to be treated like that.

„Why are you like this?” Javier asked, taking a step in Yuzuru's direction, his blood boiling „I- we haven't done anything wrong. You don't want to talk about it? Fine. But don't treat me like shit because of that.”

They were standing very close now, Yuzuru leaning against the wall and Javier only a step away, their gazes locked. Javier knew that if someone saw them, it would look a bit ambiguously, but he didn't really care.

Yuzuru took a shaky breath, his face turning sad for the briefest of moments.

„I'm sorry.” he said not looking Javier in the eyes „I don't want you to feel bad about it.”

„Then what do you want?” Javier asked, his voice surprisingly hoarse, and his eyes finally met Yuzuru's.

Javier's heart dropped, because he knew that look- steely, cold and distant, but with a depth he couldn't reach.

„Just stay away. Please.” Yuzuru said quietly and then moved past him, walking out of the station and leaving Javier rooted to the spot.

He didn't know what he was feeling, exactly. He just knew that he wasn't okay.

„Javi?”

He blinked and turned his head to see Gabby, who was looking at him with concern.

„Everything's okay?”

„Yeah.” he said, giving her what he hoped was a smile, but she shook her head.

„You're a shitty liar, Javi.” she said quietly and he blinked rapidly, feeling as if he was going to cry.

„I'm-” he tried, but he didn't know what to say, and he was a shitty liar indeed.

Gabby stepped closer and hugged him; she was so small and fragile, but suddenly it felt as if she was the stronger one. Javier hid his face in her shoulder, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. When was the last time someone hugged him like that, bringing comfort and a promise that everything would be fine?

In that job, they were all expected to be tough, not to get emotionally involved. And Javier always did just that, bottling his feelings up, gritting his teeth an pushing through. But now everything was coming back to him, every gruesome thing he had seen, every call he had to make to inform about someone's death. Suddenly it all was too overwhelming and Javier was desperately trying not to have a breakdown in the middle of the station, clinging to Gabby's shoulders like to a lifeline.

„I don't know what's happening.” he said quietly and her grip around him tightened.

It felt as if his life went wrong and Yuzuru was just another part of everything he had ever messed up „I don't know what to do.”

Because he truly didn't; he didn't know what to do with his Yuzuru, with his messed up emotions, with his whole damn life.

„It's gonna be okay, Javi.” Gabby said and he had never heard her so sad and serious at the same time.

„How do you know?”

She took a small step back and put her hands on Javier's shoulders, a smile blossoming on her lips.

„Because if life is at least a little bit fair, you'll get it all back, all that kindness you're giving to everybody.”

„I'm not so sure.”

„Shut up, I'm smarter than you.” she said and he had to smile at that.

„That you are.” he said „Thank you, Gabby. Really.”

„Always at your service.” she smiled widely, a little piece of light Javier needed so much.

He walked home, letting himself sink into the cold and noise around him. And there was a small, quiet voice in him, whispering that maybe he really didn't deserve to live like that, to be that miserable.

And maybe, finally, he felt enough strength and courage to do something about it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, so that happened... I don't even know how to comment this story anymore. If you're interested, here's [the kitchen song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFnvAbX96gM) to helo you feel the mood :D  
> Aaaand I changed the chapter count, because I figured it will work better that way. I hope you enjoyed and see you soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected revelation put the whole investigation in a new light; Javier and Yuzuru have to face a dangerous situation and everything changes forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit more mentions of blood than in previous chapters, but nothing explicitly graphic.  
> I was kinda rushing with this update before school and life get even more hectic, I really, really hope you'll like this one *fingers crossed*  
> Feels alert!

 

Javier promised himself that he would be acting normal and composed around Yuzuru. There was nothing he could do about the situation, apparently; the case would be over soon, so it didn't really matter anymore. But still, he couldn't help but wonder, analyze, try to find the reason for the change in Yuzuru's behaviour.

Because he would understand it he felt offended, or not professional, or whatever. But Yuzuru was acting as if something terrible had happened, and Javier didn't understand. It was just a kiss. Spine- tingling, unexpected and maybe a little out of line, but just a kiss. And if Javier's heart was beating a bit faster at the memory, he chose to ignore it. He had to focus.

He wasn't even late when he walked into the station in the morning and Jason raised his eyebrows questioningly.

„We've an interrogation in fifteen minutes.” Javier explained his unspoken question „Could you send some guys to bring Sato? We'll probably have a few more questions for him.”

„Sure. I'm on it.” Jason smiled and Javier nodded gratefully.

He decided that he had enough time to prepare himself a cup of coffee as a reward for making it to the station so early. He wasn't really surprized when he met Scott and Tessa there, arguing over who would be driving that day.

„Don't you have an office? This should be a yelling free zone.” Javier said and Scott rolled his eyes.

„Sorry, Javi.” Tessa gave him an apologetic smile „Heard today's a big day?”

„Yeah, we might have our killer.” Javier said, setting the coffee machine up „I mean, we're still in the dark when it comes to the motive and other stuff, but I hope she'll cooperate.”

„Everyone knows that detective Fernandez is great with people, she'll tell you everything.” Scott said with a grin „Speaking of people, where's your awesome partner?”

Javier's stomach churned.

„Haven't seen him yet.” he answered, hoping that Scott would drop the topic.

Not a chance.

„Shame you won't be working together anymore, you're so adorable.” Scott cooed, totally ignoring Tessa's warning glances „I kinda wanna grab your faces and force you to make out.”

„Scott, what the fuck.” Tessa shook her head with a slight disgust and Scott just waved.

„Oh come on, Javi knows I'm joking, right?” he turned to Javier and then his smile faded.

Normally, Javier would laugh it away or make a snarky comment, and Scott clearly expected him to do so. But Javier suddenly felt sick, his whole body tensing up, and he was just staring at Scott, unable to do anything.

„Javi, you okay?” Tessa touched his shoulder with concern and he snapped out of his daze.

„Yeah, I'm fine.” he gave her a weak smile „I gotta go.”

„But your cof-”

He found a quiet spot in one of the corridors, luckily with no people around, and he leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. Scott's stupid comment triggered the memory of him and Yuzuru in his apartment and his poor, foolish heart had hard time handling the situation. He groaned quietly, wishing that case was over already.

But did he really want that?

„You forgot something.”

Javier's eyes snapped open at the sound of Gabby's voice. She was standing a few steps away, a cup of coffee in her hands.

„I was passing by the kitchen and saw Tessa about to tear Scott's head off.” she said, shaking her head with amusement „They also said you didn't take it.”

„Thanks, Gabby.”

„Sure.” she tilted her head a little „How are you today?”

„Good. A busy day ahead of us.”

„Yeah.” her face suddenly fell „I can't believe she did it. I was admiring her so much.”

Javier smiled sympathetically, putting his hand on Gabby's shoulder, and then someone cleared his throat.

„I don't want to interrupt, but the suspect's ready.” Yuzuru said, looking at them with his arms crossed on his chest.

„Okay.” Javier nodded and turned to Gabby, who was watching Yuzuru with dark expression „I'll see you later.”

Yuzuru was still looking at him, his face blank, and Javier forced himself to smile. He didn't want Yuzuru to know how hard it was for him, to be around him now. They had a job to do and his feelings shouldn't interfere with that.

 

Iva Kostelić looked very calm. Javier wondered if it was just a facade or if she was really so sure of herself. Next to her was sitting her lawyer and Javier sighed internally; her name was Cindy Blye and they had met a few times during those years; she wasn't a big fan of him, to put it it that way.

„Let's begin.” Javier smiled easily, Yuzuru sitting quietly by his side „Miss Kostelić, you've been seen at the place when Pedro Diaz was murdered. We've wintesses.”

„I didn't kill anyone.” she said, quiet and sure.

„Okay then. Where were you yesterday between 2 and 4pm?” he had to ask this question, despite the fact that the wintess had recognized her the day before. But Blye would eat him alive and it was sometimes fun to listen to some made up explanations.

„I was having lunch with Sean, my assistant.” she said without missing a beat.

„Could you give us his name and contact details?” Yuzuru asked, sliding her a piece of paper „Thank you.”

Javier noticed that Yuzuru had brought large file with him and was now runing through the pages.

„You should know that today we'll get a warrant to search your place.” Javier said lightly and saw with satiscaftion that her jaw tensed „Did you know Pedro Diaz?”

„I think I've seen him a few times when I was leaving work late. He was a janitor.” she shrugged, seemingly careless, but Javier didn't buy it.

„Have you ever contacted Raymond Mathieu?” Yuzuru asked suddenly and she shook her head.

„No. But he was sending threats to me, don't you remember?”

„We do.” Yuzuru smiled slightly „I bet it was very convenient for you.”

„Excuse me?”

Javier was a bit confused, but didn't say anything, letting Yuzuru do his thing.

„On 5th of December your assistant made a call to Mathieu.” Yuzuru tapped the phone register in front of him „Probably you told him to do that, right? You wanted to put the suspicion on him, and with all the threats he sent you, he was a perfect fit for your story.” he leaned forward a bit, his voice low and intimidating „You killed five people. Why?”

„I didn't kill them!” she raised her voice and Javier almost smiled. He had an idea.

„It's definitely a life sentence, right?” he turned to Yuzuru who picked up immediately „You think we have enough evidence?”

„Yeah.” it was a slight bluff, but no one had to know „We've all the new data we're getting the prosecutor's gonna love us.”

„Do you have any other questions to my client, gentelmen?” Blye asked with ice voice and Yuzuru smiled at her before turning his eyes to Kostelić.

„Did you know that we've death sentence in Japan?” he asked and all blood left her face.

„You don't have a proof that she killed these people.” Blye said and Javier shook his head.

„We know that she has skills, had an opportunity, and that she tried to set Mathieu up. We'll get to this, with or without her help.” he smiled slightly at her furious expression „You should tell your client that if she cooperates maybe she'll be judged in Canada.”

„They could do it? Send me to Japan?” Kostelić asked, traces of panic in her voice.

„Well, they could, but-”

„Okay.” Kostelić said flatly, looking defeated. She took a deep breath and looked Javier in the eyes.

„I killed Pedro Diaz, but only him.”

Javier exchanged quick glances with Yuzuru, who looked intrigued and suspicious at the same time; and to be honest, Javier felt the same.

„And who killed the rest of them, then?” he asked, not really expecting an answer; but Kostelić closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them, they were full of tears.

„Hidetoshi.” she whispered and Javier almost fell from his chair.

That was the last thing he expected to hear.

„You're claming that Hidetoshi Sato killed his interns?” Yuzuru asked slowly; judging by the sound of his voice, he was as shocked as Javier.

„Yes.” a few tears ran down her face and she sniffed „He... he was using them.”

„What do you mean?”

„It was never enough for him.” she said bitterly „He could buy anything he dreamed of, but it's never enough.” she took a deep breath and blinked rapidly „The internship program... it was a way to find people who could do something for him. The problem they had to solve to get into the internship was connected with hacking- that's how he was choosing who would get in.”

Javier's mind was racing with million thoughts. It sounded crazy so far and he was kind of scared to hear the rest.

„It was simple. He wanted them to hack some big, usually worldwide corporations, and get the most important data they could find. Then Hidetoshi was- he was blackmailing them. Half of his money came from that.” she made a choking sound and Javier looked at Yuzuru, who was clearly as confused as him.

„And no one ever went to police with that?” Javier asked with disbelief and Kostelić winced.

„Trust me, detecive, they preferred to pay than to talk with services about it. Big companies have big secrets, not always legal.”

„Apparently.” Javier let his voice to be a little bit sarcastic „What about the last intern?”

„What do you mean?”

„He's alive.” he deadpanned and she looked as if he just slapped her.

„He was a bad fit.” she said after a moment „Genius, but pretty idealistic. And young. It was too risky. And he lives in Norway, so it was inconvenient.”

„Because Sato was paying in cash.” Yuzuru said slowly and Kostelić nodded.

„He was very careful. He would send someone with instructions, then the same person would pick up the flashdrive and leave money.” she gave them a crooked smile „These poor guys didn't even know what they had in hands. Hidetoshi just told them to cover their faces and gave them a huge raise.”

„But why would he kill them? They were valuable for him.”

A single tear run down her cheek and she wiped it absently.

„A few months ago, something changed. He changed. He... started to be extremely cagey about everything, he had... anger issues. I couldn't recognize him anymore.” she said quietly „He was obsessed with a thought that they would betray him, or try to blackmail him. So he... he decided to get rid of them. I tried to convince him to just let them go but he was paranoic. He... I don't know. He's not the same person I-” she stopped abruptly, biting her lip.

„What about Kumi Adachi?” Yuzuru asked and Kostelić sighed.

„She was smart. When... when he killed Yamada, she sensed that she was in danger and she hid herself. I managed to contact her and told her that- that I'm on her side. That I want to help her, but that she had to come to Canada.”

It was horrible and twisted and nothing Javier could ever think of, but it seemed to be true.

„Do you have any proof?”

„The knife.” Kostelić swallowed hard „He keeps it in his office in a safe. And he... he has a bank account in some tax haven. With all the money from blackmails. I think all the documents are there too.”

„But you killed Diaz yesterday. Why?”

„Hidetoshi... he was sure that Pedro was spying on us. Once he saw him right outside his office when were talking about-” she winced, her face full of pain „He was hysterical and told me to kill him.”

Silence after her words was heavy.

„Why did you do that?” Javier asked quietly, softer than he intended, and Kostelić shuddered.

„I love him.” she said quietly „So much. But I killed a man for him and I don't- I can't...” she started crying, tears streaming down her face, and Javier almost felt some kind of compassion for her. Almost.

 

 

Javier was pissed.

„Fucking hell.” he cursed, kicking his own desk. Yuzuru just pressed his lips together, clearly as mad as Javier, but controlling his temper better.

Sato disappeared.

They checked the comapany's headquarters, his house, hotels. Gabby was working like crazy, trying to find out if he had any hidden property or a cabin in the woods. They had his photo on every airport, on every border, but Javier knew that he could already be far, far away.

At least they had solid evidence for Sato's guilt; they had to wait for a knife expertise, but they already knew that those flashdrives were full of very confidential data.

Javier sighed, suddenly deflating, and slumped on his chair.

„I'd never expect that.” he said to the space „This is the weirdest case I've ever had.”

He still couldn't wrap his mind around it.

Hidetoshi Sato, well known and respected businessman, was paying for stolen data to blackmail other companies. And he had made such a good impression on Javier when they met, so polite and concerned. He was a great actor.

„I think he might have some problems with his head.” Javier added, thinking about what Kostelić had told them „Going from blackmailing to killing is a huge jump, and Kostelić said that his personality changed too.”

„It's possible.” Yuzuru sounded tired „But first we need to catch him.”

The words hang between them, heavy and mocking. There was really nothing they could do anymore about that. They had already reported the situation to Orser, who was now sitting in his office and making some very important calls.

They sat in silence, too disappointed and worn out to feel uncomfortable. It seemed so far away now, that awful feelings that had been filling Javier's chest earlier. Now, he was just tired. He wanted to go home, throw himself into his bed and wake up with a little bit more hope.

„Do you think he loves her back?”

Javier blinked, startled. Yuzuru was looking at his palms and Javier smiled sadly, glad that the other man couldn't see it.

„No.”

His sure answer clearly surprized Yuzuru, who looked at him with wide eyes.

„How do you know?”

„If he loved her, he'd rather kill Diaz himself than let her do that.”

The way Yuzuru looked at him made Javier shiver, a tingling sensation running down his spine. He swallowed hard, his mouth going dry, and he couldn't help but think about Yuzuru touching his face lightly, his eyes glistening.

_You're a very sad person._

He didn't want to be, anymore.

There was a ghost of smile on Yuzuru's lips, as if he wasn't thinking about what he was doing, and Javier's heart sank. It felt like he could ask now what was it all about and why Yuzuru was acting like that; but he didn't.

 _Just stay away from me_.

Yuzuru would leave soon, and in time he would be just another guy Javier worked with, another person who let him a little bit closer _,_ but then left him anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

Javier was brushing his teeth, almost falling asleep over the basin, when his phone rang and he groaned tiredly.

„I hope it's super important, Gabby.”

„Come on, you're not sleeping.” she said, her voice exasperated „Look, I'm going home, but if you and Yuzuru need more info, Keegan is taking the night shift. And if you'll need backup tonight, Maddie's on the phone so you're good.”

„What would I need backup?” Javier muttered absently, trying to comb his hair with his fingers.

„Well if you find Sato, what's going on with you?”

„I've no idea what you're talking about.”

Gabby fell silent on the other end of the line and that actually made Javier sober up.

„Gabby, what's going on?”

„So literally half an hour ago your partner rushed in and demanded to show him the list of Kostelić's properties. She actually has an apartment in the centre and a small house fifteen kilometers from the city. He told me he would call you and you'd check it.”

„Fuck. Fuck, I'm going to kill him.”

Javier was full awake now and rushing back to his bedroom, grabbing his jeans from the floor on the way.

„Text me that adress, okay?”

„Sure. You're gonna be okay?”

„Yeah, don't worry. I gotta run.” he hang up and grabbed the nearest t-shirt. He was pissed beyond belief. Yuzuru apparently decided to go on solo mission and that was so not okay. Javier quickly found his gun and car keys and rushed outside.

Javier actually owned a car- a very old volkswagen golf- but he didn't use it very often. Toronto was a big city with a lot of traffic and he preffered walking or taking a public transport. And in case of emergency he could always take one of police cars.

He quickly checked the adrees Gabby sent him and he knew where it was, more or less. He started the engine and at the same time dialed Yuzuru's number.

„What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed into the phone, taking a sharp turn at the same time „What the fuck, Yuzuru?”

„This had to be checked.” Yuzuru said emotionlessly, in a quiet voice „And you already left.”

„This is not- oh my god, I can't believe you!” Javier exclaimed angrily and then took a calming breath „Just wait for me, okay? You already there?”

„Yes.” a moment of silence „Someone's in the house, I see a flashlight. It could be Sato.”

That actually made some sense; Sato was clever and knew he couldn't go back to his apartment, so he went to Kostelić's place. Maybe there was some incriminating stuff he wante to take or destroy. Javier wouldn't be surprized of he had his own keyes and a drawer there.

„Just stay where you are and wait for me, I'm gonna call for backup.”

„He can get away.”

„I don't care, this guy's dangerous and unpredictable, just stay back.”

Yuzur inhaled deeply. And then he ended the call.

„Fuck.” Javier swore before dialing another number „Maddie, I need backup.” he gave her the adress quickly „There's a big chance the suspect's there, probably armed.”

„Five people?”

„Should be good.” Javier eneded the call and hit the gaz pedal even harder.

He made it in a record time. He parked right behind a rental car that Javier assumed was Yuzuru's.

But of course Yuzuru wasn't there.

Javier knew that he shoud wait for the backup. And if it was only about him, he would. But Yuzuru was inside and he could be in danger. So Javier grabbed his gun and a flashlight, took a deep breath and entered the house.

He started with checking the ground floor. The house was actually pretty big for one person and Javier wondered why on Earth would she buy something that large. But then he realized that she was probably dreaming about raising kids in there, in all likelihood with Sato. He winced and brushed the thought away. He was just about the enter the kitchen when he heard a loud thud upstairs, as if somethig- or someone- just fell on the floor. Javier's heartbeat picked up, adrenaline kicking in, as he slowly walked to the stairs and starting climbing upstairs. It had been a long time since he had to do something like that, with guns and sneaking around, and a real danger; he had luck with his few last cases, no needs of some high action level, just pure investigations and detective works.

The whole house was dark, lighten up only by Javier's flashlight; but when he reached the higher floor he immediately spotted a little line of light under the nearest door. He turned off his flashlight and slowly, carefully made his way to that door. There was some rustling on the other side and then he heard Sato's laughter, low and chilly. He said something in Japanese and then Javier could hear Yuzuru's muffled voice.

Javier knew he had to act. So he took a deep breath, wrapped his fingers around the gun even tighter, and bursted into the room.

He had mere seconds to take in the situation.

Yuzuru was lying on the floor, facing the opposite wall, his shoulders rasising in rapid breathing. Sato was standing next to him, looking straight at Javier, his gun pointed at him.

Javier hesitated for a heartbeat. And then he pulled the trigger twice.

But hesitation was a costly mistake in that job.

Javier felt sharp pain in his chest and he took a step back, feeling dazed. In front of him Sato was already on the floor, blood gushing from the wound on his neck. Javier took a deep, painful breath, and watched how Yuzuru scrambled on his feet, looking at Sato.

„You hit the head and aorta, he's already dead.” Yuzuru said and his voice sounded muffled.

Suddenly all adrenaline left Javier's body, the pain in his chest stronger with each second. He wanted to say something but there was not enough room for him to breathe.

„Thank you.” Yuzuru said, still totally unaware of Javier's state; but then he finally turned around and his eyes widened „What-?”

Javier's legs gave up.

He was vaguely aware of Yuzuru rushing to him, screaming something into his phone. Then he kneeled down next to Javier, his hands pressing on his chest so hard Javier whined in pain.

„You're going to be okay.” he heard Yuzuru saying and Javier wanted to say that he knew that, but there was blood gathering in his throat and he couldn't make a sound.

It was probably a lung, he thought, woozy. He could make it, he knew, if it wouldn't collapse. He had had classes on that. He had been good with that subject.

„Hey, hey, stay with me.” Yuzuru's voice was desperate and Javier made an effort to look at him. Yuzuru looked pale, and there was a small wound near his eyebrow, and Javier wanted to caress it, but his arm felt so heavy he could barely move it.

He suddenly felt so sad that he had missed Christmas. He was supposed to go to Spain for his birthday, too. Oh, and he promised Miki that he would call. And play football with Hima, and-

Breathing was getting impossibly harder with every second and there was a sharp voice in his foggy mind telling him that his lung was filled with blood now. It was okay. He just had to breathe. He would be fine. But he was getting dizzier and dizzier, and everything was becoming muffled and blurry. He could feel blood raising in his throat and he started coughing, every tremor sending a violent sensation through his whole body. He tried to keep his eyes open, but his eyelids were so heavy, and he just wasn't strong enough, and it was so hard.

It all hurt so much.

„Look at me, Javi. You're going to be okay, just stay with me.”

Yuzuru's voice was shaking and Javier didn't like that. And his face was so pale and terrified.

He had such a nice smile. Javier wished he could see it one more time.

„Hey, don't close your eyes-”

 

* * *

 

 

Javier woke up suddenly, but his eyes stayed closed. He was strangely aware of his whole body, how weird and heavy it felt. There was a painful pressure in his chest and his throat was so dry it hurt.

„Dude, you awake?”

Javier opened his eyes only a little bit and closed them immediately, bright lights above his head blinding him.

„Water.” he managed to get out, opening his eyes again.

„Sure man, just a sec.”

A guy was leaning over him, one hand tucked carefully behind Javier's head and the other one holding a water bottle.

„Here you go. Easy, I don't want you to choke.” the guy said when Javier started drinking greedily.

„Thank you.” he said weakly and fell back on the pillow.

„Sure thing.” the stranger smiled and reached for a small button placed next to Javier's bed „Nurse Thompson's gonna be so happy. I think she has a crush on you, which is kinda creepy, but I don't judge.” he winked and Javier would laugh, but his chest was throbbing with pain.

„Alex, I swear to- oh.” the nurse who rushed into the room stopped abruptly.

„He's awake!” the guy- Alex- grinned widely.

„Out of here or back to bed.” she ordered and he raised his hands in surrender, then hopped on his bed, smiling at Javier reassuringly.

„Hello Javier, how are you feeling?” the nurse asked while checking his vitals.

„Good, I think. It hurts a little.”

„That's expected.” she nodded „I'm going to get your doctor, okay?” she left quickly and Javier turned his head to Alex.

„How long I'm here?”

„Three days.” Alex said, munching an apple „You were asleep pretty long, they were starting to worry.”

Javier wanted to ask him more questions, but then the nurse was back, followed by a woman with white her and striking blue eyes.

„Welcome back, Javier.” she said with a kind smile „I'm doctor Walsh. You probably want to know what we had to do to you, don't you?” she asked, sparks of good humor in her eyes, and Javier nodded „Okay, so you were brought to us with a gunshot – two gunshots, to be specific- to your right lung. You also had a pneumothorax and you lost some blood.” she explained and Javier actually understood everything „We couldn't save a part of your lung and we had to remove it, sadly, but it shouldn't make your life very difficult, some people live with only one. Just maybe don't start smoking.” she continued and Javier smiled at that „Also, you might feel a littly dizzy, you had pretty strong reaction to the sedatives we gave you.”

Then she asked him a few more questions, checked his heartbeat and nodded, clearly satisfied.

„Okay, so far everything looks good. I'm gonna tell your family you're awake.”

„What?” Javier squeaked, surprized, and she just smiled.

Javier expected Gabby to rush in, maybe Tessa and Scott. But then his heart almost stopped when he saw Laura and his mother.

„Oh Javi-” there were tears in his mom's eyes as she hugged him tightly, careful not to hurt him „My sweet boy.”

„Mom.” he didn't feel strong enough to hug her back, but his hand found hers and it felt so warm and comforting he almost cried too. Laura walked around the bed and grabbed his other hand; she was silent, but her eyes were glistening with tears she was trying to hold back.

„What are you doing here?” Javier asked, dazed, and his mom smiled through the tears.

„We got on the first plane.” Laura explained „Dad couldn't make it, but I'll call him right away. He wanted to be here with us.”

Javier nodded silently; he knew why his father couldn't be there. He could only imagine how expensive those last minute tickets were, and he shuddered at the thought what they had been through when they found out what happened to him.

„I'm so happy to see you.” was all he could say, but it didn't express even a shred of his emotions.

There was a lot of crying then, and lot of hugs and happy smiles, and Javier felt overwhelmed, but in the best way possible. It felt like some kind of a dream, to have them there with him, so close, so warm and loving.

„I need to call your colleagues, they were so worried about you.” Laura said at some point, still not letting go of his hand.

„They all care about you so much.” his mom said and Javier's heart skipped a beat at a sudden thought.

„Do you-” his voice cracked and he had to clear his throat „Do you know if my partner is okay?”

„Oh, Yuzuru?” Laura asked with a smile and Javier gaped „Yeah, he's fine. He visited you everyday.”

„Oh.” was all Javier could say and Laura smiled even broaden.

„He's very nice.” he noticed and Javier nodded absently.

„Yeah, he is.”

 

He had so many guests that day nurse Thompson actually told them to get out at one point. Gabby was crying all the time while Tessa was patting her back soothingly. Scott was cracking jokes, clearly trying to cover how moved he was and Jason was excited as usual. Chief Orser looked a bit shaken, but he was trying to play it cool too.

It was so good, to know that so many people cared about him.

He just wished Yuzuru was there too.

 

 

Javier and Alex were both sitting on Javier's bed, trying to solve a solitaire.

„I stole the cards from the children's room.” Alex admitted with a grin and Javier gaped mockingly.

„Wow, you're so evil. Move five of hearts.”

„Uh, right. You remember good old times when you couldn't play it on your computer, because-”

„Because you didn't have a computer.” Javier finished the sentence with a short chuckle „We're so old.”

„But you know what they're saying about wine-”

„Hi.”

Alex almost fell from the bed and Javier's heart started racing, bruising his already aching ribs.

„Yuzuru, hi.” he squeaked, vaguely aware of Alex collecting the cards scattered around the bed.

„I'm gonna go and return it.” he said with a smile „Nice to see you again, man.” he nodded towards Yuzuru and then left rather quickly.

Yuzuru was standing at the door, his eyes dark and lips pursed. They were staring at each other, their gazez locked, and suddenly it all came back to Javier. Laughing over their drinks, cooking in his kitchen, Yuzuru begging him to stay awake. And then there was a lump in his throat and he decided to save the situation in the only way he knew. So he smiled, as if everything was the best in the world and he wasn't lying in a hospital bed.

„Hi.” he said, siting a bit more straight up „How are you?” he wanted to sound light and casual, but Yuzuru's face twisted with hurt and his lower lip started to tremble. Javier opened his mouth, surprized, but Yuzuru got a grip almost immediately.

„I'm fine.” he said shortly, taking a few slow steps and stopping on the other side of Javier's bed, so far, far away. There was some hesitation on his face, so not like him „How are you feeling?”

„I'm okay. A bit sore, but at least I've got a lot of sleep in here.”

That meant to be a joke; Javier desperately wanted to prevent the situation from becoming weird or awkward, but the outcome was the opposite of what he intended.

Yuzuru's lips parted and then he took in a sharp breath, lowering his head. Javier couldn't really see his face anymore, but he could see how his shoulders were moving erratically. Javier noticed that there was something off about him in general; he looked tired, even miserable, as if all his confidence was gone.

And he was so far away, Javier's fingers itched to touch him.

„Are you sure everything's alright? Is the case-”

„Nothing's alright!” Yuzuru snapped at him, raising his head again, and Javier noticed that his eyes were glistening „It's not alright.” he added in a quiet voice and Javier's heart thudded painfully. He could see what was going on now- Yuzuru was blaming himself for what had happened. And Javier knew that he had a right to be mad at Yuzuru, but he couldn't bring himself to do that.

„Could you come a little bit closer?” he asked quietly and Yuzuru blinked rapidly, clearly startled by that request. He hesitated for a moment before he slowly made his way to Javier's side, not looking at him yet again and staring at the floor.

„Hey.” Javier reached for Yuzuru's hand, squeezing it gently „Look at me.”`

He half expected Yuzuru to draw away, to step back. But there was some new vulnerability to him, and Javier could see how he was desperately trying to cover it with that cool, blank mask, but something visibly changed.

„I'm sorry.” Yuzuru said, his voice almost a whisper „I shouldn't have done that.”

„That was kinda stupid move.” Javier admitted softly „But I'm okay.” he pulled Yuzuru's hand gently, so he sat on the edge of Javier's bed „Just don't pull that number with your next partner.”

Yet again, it was meant to be a joke, something light to defuse the situation and lift Yuzuru's mood.

„It's not really good topic for jokes.” Yuzuru said, his voice still trembling slightly „You- you...”

„I'm super fun, I know.”

„No, you're not.”

Javier's heart stuttered painfully at that little deja vu, and there was so many things he wanted to say, but at the same time something was stopping him. Maybe he was a coward, still, or maybe he was tired. So they just stayed like that for a little longer, their fingers joined, and Javier pretended that the aching in his chest was caused only by the recent surgery.

„It wasn't your fault.”

Yuzuru's smile was bitter.

„It was.”

„We're not gonna argue about it.”

„You could've died.” Yuzuru said these words as if it was painful to get them out, and Javier's breathing hitched.

„I'm fine, I promise.”

„You're-”

„Yuzuru.” Javier cut him off gently „Stop. Please. Just- don't.”

Yuzuru clearly wanted to oppose, because that was who he was, but he just sighed deeply and nodded, his fingers squeezing Javier's hand just a little bit tighter.

Yuzuru left soon, with a pale smile and a promise to come back the next day. Alex appeared five minutes later and handed Javier a box of grape juice.

„You stole that from childrens' room too?” Javier asked and Alex rolled his eyes.

„No, I charmed the cafeteria lady.” he winked „You and your guy had a good talk?”

„He's my partner, We work together.” Javier said, feeling weirdly unsure, and Alex made a face.

„Sure.” he said, looking a bit suspicious „My bad.”

„What do you mean?” Javier risked asking and Alex sighed.

„You know, the first time he came I was in here too, I didn't feel as good as now.”

„And?”

„The next time he came I made sure not to be there.”

„I don't follow, Alex.” Javier pressed and Alex shifted on his bed, clearly uncomfortable.

„So, he did a lot of talking. He just didn't think that I understood Japanese.”

Javier's throat went dry.

„And what was he saying?”

Alex smiled slightly, and for the first time since Javier had met him, he looked a little bit sad.

„It's not my thing to say.”

 

* * *

 

„You need a full makeover.” Laura said with a laugh as she was tossing his clothes on the floor and Javier gasped, pretending to be offended.

„You wound my poor soul.” he laughed and then winced slightly. Laura, of course, noticed that immediately.

„You okay?”

„Don't worry, just sore.” he smiled at her reassuringly.

It had been three weeks since his surgery and he was feeling pretty good. His chest still hurt, but the doctor had warned him that the pain could stay with him for a while. Javier didn't mind- it was unpleasant, but not unbearable.

„Oh, this one has to go!” Laura waved his favourite plaid shirt in front of him and he snatched it from her hands.

„Nope, it's staying!”

„You're hopeless, just like dad!”

Their bickering was put to stop when Javier's phone dinged loudly, annoucing a new message.

_Yuzuru [5.57pm] I've a flight to Japan in a few hours and I'd like to meet before I leave._

Javier probably had never gotten a more dry text before. He stared at the letters, trying to make sense of them. So, Yuzuru was leaving. Shame he hadn't mentioned that a little bit earlier.

„What's wrong?” nothing could escape Laura's attention.

„Everything's fine.” Javier said once again as he started typing the response.

_Javier [5.59pm] 7 at Carolina's?_

_Yuzuru [6.00pm] I'll see you there._

„Okay, so I'm heading out for a bit.” he announced and before Laura could say anything, he added „But I'll be back soon.”

„Sure.” she said and then tilted her head a little „Is it about Yuzuru?”

„He's going back to Japan and wants to say goodbye.”

It sounded awful, spoken out loud. Final.

„Oh.” Laura frowned „You haven't spoken since you left the hospital, right?”

Javier just nodded, afraid that if he spoke, his voice would betray him and expose... whatever he was feeling. But Laura smiled suddenly, with that knowing, mysterious smile.

„Great then. Tell him hi from me!”

 

 

„How are you feeling?”

Javier was getting really tired of that question, but he just smiled at Yuzuru and shrugged his shoulders.

„I'm okay. Better tell me how's the case going?”

„I was in the court yesterday.” Yuzuru said, fiddling in his pasta with a fork „They're accusing her of murder, complicity and hiding valuable information.”

„She might have that life sentence.” Javier muttered and Yuzuru nodded silently.

The silence that fell after those words was heavy and filled with tension, as they both were pretending they didn't want to look at each other. Javier had so many questions, but not enough strength to ask them. Did it matter, anyway? Yuzuru was going to leave in mere hours.

Maybe nothing what had happened between them really mattered.

„Laura says hi.” Javier tried, just to dissolve that awkward silence weighing on them.

„She's still here?”

„Yeah, cooking me proper dinners and helping me with packing.” he said and Yuzuru dropped his fork with a loud clang.

„You're moving out?”

„I'm going to Spain.” Javier said, and he was surprized how easy it was. Refreshing „Gonna start new life and stuff.” he added and then smiled to himself. It used to be so scary, but he just felt excited and hopeful about that.

It was refreshing, to finally make a decision and trust that it was a good one.

Yuzuru was staring at him blankly and Javier's smile faded.

„Yu-”

„Is it beacuse of what happened?” Yuzuru asked and Javier shook his head rapidly.

„No, no. They say I could go back to work in some time. I just- I don't want to.”

„But why?”

„It's not for me, Yuzuru.” Javier said quietly „It never was.”

„So you're just gonna leave it all behind? Everything and everyone?”

„They're gonna be okay without me.” Javier said, narrowing his eyes slightly; he didn't know what Yuzuru was getting at, but that was kind of a weird statement. Javier would miss his Toronto friends, but he just knew that he needed to do that, to stop with what ifs and constant misery.

Yuzuru opened his mouth, clearly wanted to say something, but he stopped himself, closing his eyes for a moment.

„I'm sorry.”

„You don't have anything to be sor-”

„About how I acted, after-” Yuzuru winced and Javier could feel blush creeping on his cheeks. Right.

„Don't worry about it.” he forced himself to smile „It's all in the past, right?”

_Why did you do that, exactly? What did you tell me in the hospital?_

_What are you so afraid of?_

„Right.”

Everything was in the past, now.

„I need to go.” Yuzuru whispered and Javier's heart skipped a beat.

„Okay.”

Javier felt the significance of the moment, but at the same time he couldn't wrap his mind about it. That was it. They were never going to see each other again. Maybe he would never know what it was, between them. Or what could be, maybe.

Or maybe, there was just nothing.

They were standing on a pavement in front of Carolina's restaurant, just like the first day. It was cold, an usual February chill, a few lonely snowflakes dancing in the air. They looked at each other, and Yuzuru was so close, bathed in the dim light of the lantern, and suddenly Javier just wanted to kiss him. A painful, sharp need, tearing him apart from inside.

He wished it could be different. He wished they could get to know each other, but now they had to go back to their separate lives on two different sides of the world. But he should have known better, from the start- it was always going to end like that.

„I'm really glad I met you.” Javier said finally, because there were no other words for situation like that. They were still two strangers, sharing something they couldn't even understand.

„Me too.” Yuzuru said quietly, extending his hand slowly. He was wearing gloves and Javier somehow missed feeling his skin. So he gave in, for a moment. He pulled Yuzuru closer, wrapping his arm around his shoulders, their hands joined between their bodies. Javier could feel Yuzuru's hot breathing against his neck and his hair tickling his hair; and it was too much, Javier's heart bruising his chest, as if making sure he wouldn't get rid of the pain for a long time.

He didn't know what it was, exactly. He didn't know what he wanted, either. Maybe a little bit more time. Maybe a time machine, to go back to the beggining and turn down the case immediately.

But in the end, he was really glad he had met him.

He pulled back, offering Yuzuru one last smile. And then he turned around and walked away without looking back.

 

* * *

 

„Feels weird?” Laura asked softly and Javier nodded absently, his eyes glued to the window. Below him Toronto was disappearing under layers of clouds. It sting a little, the knowledge that he was leaving it for good. But Laura was at his side and something new and yet familiar was ahead of him, and he just had to take that opportunity to try and catch it.

There had been a lot of tears, though, when he was saying goodbyes to all those people that were part of his life. Gabby and Jason, who cried their eyes out, Scott who was trying to keep himself together and chief Orser, who hugged him tightly and didn't say a word. Even Maxim couldn't stop emotions from showing on his face as Carolina was wishing Javier all the best with a gentle smile.

They were so important, all of them. But he had to move on.

The Toronto was already far away and Javier turned to Laura and smiled, broadly and softly.

„I missed you so much.”

Her laugh was sweet and just a little bit wet.

„I missed you too.”

And Javier knew that he would be okay. Because the heartache and regret and longing would disappear some day. And if the wouldn't... it didn't matter. Because he wasn't alone.

Because maybe, just maybe, he was finally coming home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I crying? Probably.  
> I hope you liked this chapter and you're not disappointed, I put a lot of heart into it! Can't wait for your thoughts!  
> Big thanks to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCYWM0w16hg), it really inspired me while writing the last ~2000 words hah, really setting the mood.  
> I hope you enjoyed!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Half a year later Javier's life is simple and good. But his past will always be a part of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you excited? Because I for sure am! Also a bit anxious, but fingers crossed, I thought about this chapter a lot and I like how it turned out in the end! The epilogue is in slightly different style I think, but I hope it works.  
> (Of course a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak4YJjkdFRY) appears in this chapter, feel free to play it to get the full experience hah.)  
> Hope you enjoy!

 

Javier threw a generous amount of cayenne into a pot and then gave the stew a good stir. It smelled really promising and he smiled to himself. He always was a pretty decent cook, but since coming back to Spain he got even better. Maybe the reason was that he was preparing meals not only for himself now, but also for his parents and sometimes Laura.

It was so incredibly easy, to fall into that new, but somehow familiar life. He had been so scared of that, but it just felt as natural as breathing. He moved in with his parents, letting himself bask in their love and care. Now he could really sense how much he had been missing them, and only now he could see how much they had been missing him. Javier could see that every day in his mother's loving smile, feel it when his father touched his cheek lightly.

He was discovering old roots linking him with that life, catching up with old friends and meeting new. He would write his Toronto friends few times a week and finally managed to create some kind of schedule with Miki, their friendship building up again slowly but steadily.

He had made a good choice, he knew. But it hurt sometimes, just a little, a dull pain deep in his chest- a phantom of an already healed wound and a memory of feelings that didn't exactly go away.

Javier shook his head and took a spoonful of the stew. He went slightly overboard with spices, but it was definitely edible. Laura would probably say it was too blank anyway, but she needed at least three jalapenos in her dish to call it tasty.

„Playing the chief again?”

„Hi, Laura.” Javier smiled at his sister who just entered the kitchen. She was living in the other part of a city in her own small apaartment, but she would come to dinner a few times a week „That's my role in this household now.”

Javier had way better working schedule than his parents, so he took over preparing dinners.

„And how's work?” Laura asked, taking the spoon from him and tasting the dish „Huh, it could use a bit more chilli, but it's good.”

„I'm still learning.” he said, rolling his eyes „Work's good. I'll get some extra hours next week.”

After coming back from Toronto Javier took his time to settle in, to get used to everything. But in late August he decided that he had to find himself something to do, because constant lazing on the couch wasn't the best way of life. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, so he was just taking it step by step, looking and trying.

Now he worked in a small language school, giving English classes. It was so different from what he had used to do, but he actually liked it a lot. It was challenging, fun, and it was giving him a feeling that he could still do something for other people. He had never thought he could do something like that, but there he was. He had good language skills, he was good with people at any age. And it was so nice, to see how people developed with his help.

„So many people want to study English?”

„Actually, Sara decided to increase number of Spanish courses for foreigners, so I'm getting one group.”

„Oh, you sure you can do it? Because I vaguely remember your marks from primary school...”

„You're so mean!” Javier pouted „Maybe shut up and help me make a salad.”

„Fine.” she said with a smile „I'll put the music on, okay?” she asked and turned the radio on without waiting for a response.

Javier actually froze.

He suddenly was back in Toronto, in his small kitchen, the music playing softly in the background, and someone working right next to him. Something throbbed behind his ribs, short, sharp sting of pain.

They had cut out only a piece of his lung, but why sometimes it felt as if he was missing his heart instead?

„Javi? You're okay?”

He blinked rapidly, snapping out of his daze. Laura was looking at him with concern and he hated that he was the one to put that expression on her face.

„Yeah, just drifted for a second.” he cleared his throat and gave her a smile, but she didn't seem to buy it. The song changed in that moment and she smiled suddenly.

„Come on.” Laura grabbed his hand and pulled him closer, and Javier realized what she was doing.

„Nooo.” he groaned „I'm not dancing with you to Enrique Iglesias.”

„Yes you are.” she said and he sighed theatrically, wrapping his arms around her.

Javier wasn't a master dancer, so they just swayed to the music. Javier closed his eyes for a moment and just let himself embrace all that warmth and kindness she was giving to him.

„Do you want to talk about it?” Laura asked quietly and he opened his eyes to see her face, so close and so gentle. She wanted only the best for him, he knew that. So why couldn't he bring himself to tell her the truth?

Well, he wasn't sure what that truth was, exactly.

„There's nothing to talk about.” he said and immediately felt sick. But Laura, like an angel she was, just smiled and shook hear head.

„Okay. I just want to say that I'll fight whoever broke that beautiful heart of yours.”

„Hey, no.” he said, maybe a little bit too quickly „Nothing like that happened.”

„Javi.” Laura's eyes on him were strong „We didn't see each other for a long time, but I know you. I know how tough it was for you after Miki and now-”

„It's not about her.” he said and instantly knew that he said too much. There must have been a look of panic on his face, or something similar, because Laura didn't press anymore. She just stepped closer, pulling him into a tight embrace and placing her head against his heart.

„Just take care of it.” she murmured and he nodded, hugging her back and hiding his face in her hair.

That was how a few minutes later their mom found them.

„Are we doing a hugging session?” she aked and Laura snorted, stepping back.

„Javi's distracting me from making the salad.” she said, but the look he gave Javier was soft.

 

In the evening he was sitting in his room, preparing something for his next day class, when his computer let out a loud signal of skype call.

„Hey!” Gabby almost yelled, waving at him enthusiastically „Just though I'd pay you visit before you go to sleep.”

„Hi.” he smiled, waving back „How are you, how is everyone?”

„We miss you!” she pouted and his smile turned soft.

„I miss you too. I-”

„Javi!” Jason suddenly appeared on the screen in a blur.

„Wait, are you calling from work?” Javier asked and Gabby rolled her eyes.

„It's so boring today, don't judge.”

„Okay, so how are things going beside being boring?”

„There's new guy on your place.” Gabby said with a stone face and Jason sighed dramatically.

„Not as half handsome as you.” he winked and Javier laughed at his disgusted face.

They caught up a little, Gabby showing a great interest in his new job and asking a million questions. It was nice, to see them, and it was kind of hard, to miss them. But that was how it had to be, for him- he was always destined to miss someone, but he just started accepting it.

 

* * *

 

„Hi, Javi!” Sara smiled to him when he stopped by her office the next day „Excited for your first Spanish class?”

„Slightly nervous.” he admitted. He didn't want to disappoint her or the students; he was still a rookie at teaching, but so far he didn't have any complains and he wanted it to stay that way.

„You're gonna be okay.” she reassured him „They're grown adults who're paying with their own money, not little monkeys forced by their parents to learn English.”

„Well that's true.” Javier laughed „Wish me luck!”

Half an hour later he was in his classroom, six people looking at him expectantly. Javier glared at the clock and put on his most friendly smile.

„Okay, I think it's time to begin, yes?” he was sure Sara had mentioned seven people, but maybe someone was going to be late „Welcome to the first class of Spanish! Excited?”

Everyone nodded with smiles, and a pretty blond girl sitting near his desk even let out a loud „yes!”.

„That's great. My name's Javier Fernandez and I'll be your teacher, hope you won't get sick of me too soon.” he joked and the girl looked horrified at the mere thought „Before we start I'll give you my email adress, in case you've any questions.” he said and turned to the board, trying to make sure his handwriting was extra nice.

He was writing _c_ in _com_ when the door clicked and someone walked inside. Javier smiled to himself, thinking about a joke to crack, and then-

„I'm sorry for being late.”

Javier dropped his marker.

He turned around slowly, convinced that he had hallucinations, but no. And there he was, standing by the door with a little smile, wearing nice pants and a blue shirt. Yuzuru.

Javier's mind went blank.

It didn't make any sense.

They had exchanged literally four emails, dry like Sahara in the summer.

What was he doing in Madrid, in Javier's class? Why-

„Can I still join?” Yuzuru asked and Javier realized that the situation was probably horribly awkward already for the rest of people around them.

He cleared his throat.

„Of course.”

Yuzuru nodded and took the only unoccupied seat at the end of the room. Javier didn't know if he was happy about that or not.

His head was spinning.

„Okay.” he tried, bringing on the smile again „You know my name, now it's time for you. Tell me something about you. Where are you from, what brought you to Madrid?”

Javier really tried his best not to glance at Yuzuru every second. But it was so hard, listening to all those people that for sure were nice, but in that moment they were totally uninteresting for him. His heart was racing and he was feeling slightly dizzy and very, very confused.

Still, he managed to gather that the pretty blonde was from Australia and her name was Alicia; there was also a Russian guy who strangely reminded him of Maxim, a young Slovak couple, a very elegant British lady in her fifties and one very cheerful guy from Tunisia. They all had similar reasons to learn Spanish- they just moved to Madrid, needed it for job, school, or life in general.

Javier swallowed hard, finally turning his head to Yuzuru and met his calm gaze.

„My name's Yuzuru.” he said with a smirk and Javier felt an awful need to smack him in the head.

„Great to see you in my class.” Javier said with a great effort and Yuzuru's smile even broaden „Why do you want to learn Spanish?”

Yuzuru's smiled suddenly softened and Javier's breathing hitched.

„I came for work, but I might stay for something else.” he said and all the other people chuckled at that, clearly amused, but Javier actually felt like dying inside a little bit.

He was almost getting mad at Yuzuru, because what the hell? He just showed up like that after months of radio silence, after-

„Okay guys.” he managed „Nice to meet all of you, and now let the fun begin!”

Javier somehow managed to get through the pronunciation and basic expressions without any embarassment. All the studends turned out to be very nice and eager to learn, and most if the class went smoothly. And he had troubles with breathing only a few times.

„That's all for today. Thank you so much for coming today and I hope I'll see you all on Thursday.” he said and met with wide smiles and nodding. He flopped on his chair and hid his face behind an open binder, letting out a deep breath. He heard as all the people were packing and heading for the door, a cheerfull chatter slowly fading away, and Javier suddenly realized how loud his heartbeat was. Then there were footsteps and a slim figure entered his sight.

Javier dropped the binder and looked up right into Yuzuru's eyes. He was smiling, softly and expectantly, and Javier's insides twisted. He wanted to ask so many questions, maybe yell a little bit, but that wasn't a right place for that.

„I'm not doing this without food.” he blurted out and Yuzuru bit his lower lip not to laugh.

„Okay.” he agreed softly and Javier nodded dumbly.

They walked in absolute silence, Javier leading them to a near restaurant he knew. He was trying to wrap his mind about it, but he didn't even know how he was feeling.

Yuzuru followed him quietly into a small restaurant garden. It was late September and the weather was very nice, warm but no scorching hot.

„What can I get you?” a smiling waitress appeared and Javier didn't really have time for that.

„For me chicken paella. And a beer.”

„I'll take the same, but with water.” Yuzuru said, eyeing him carefully „You're okay to drink?”

„I dropped the meds few weeks ago.” Javier said, something boiling deep inside his chest, wanting to bubble to the surface. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, trying to get himself together. It was all too much, it was all too sudden, and all he could think about was how they had been saying their goodbyes and it felt so surreal, to be there, the two of them.

„Are you okay?” Yuzuru asked carefully, his voice bringing Javier to reality.

„Mostly.” Javier said, and that answer was the closest to the truth „Why are you here?”

Yuzuru opened him mouth to answer, but then the waitress appeared with their drinks, and Javier had a moment to think about how it looked like. Did they look like friends to people around them? Co- workers on a business lunch? Two men on a date? Because even he didn't know what it was yet.

„I came for work.” Yuzuru said and for the first time that day Javier saw a shadow of insecurity in his eyes.

It was looming over them, everything what had happened and what hadn't, and Javier could cut the tension with a knife.

„I need you to be super clear with me, Yuzuru.” Javier said quietly, looking him in the eyes „Please.”

Because he didn't know how much he could handle.

Yuzuru held his gaze for a long moment and then he nodded, a quiet sigh escaping his lips.

„You threw me off.” he said quietly „At the very beginning.”

„What?”

„You're so confusing, Javi.” Yuzuru said with a soft smile and Javier just realized that apparently Yuzuru was calling him _Javi_ now.

„I don't follow, are you insulting me or something?” Javier asked and Yuzuru chuckled.

„No, I'm trying-” he took a deep breath, suddenly looking more serious „I'm trying to do this right, so please, let me speak.”

Javier nodded, dumbfounded, his heartbeat inscreasing slightly. Yuzuru stared at him for a moment and then groaned.

„And now I'm confused again.” he said sheepishly and Javier actually snorted at that.

„Okay, let's do it that way.” he leaned forward a little bit „Why didn't you let me know you were coming?”

It seemed like an easier question. Safer, maybe simpler to answer, maybe not carrying as much weight as _why are you here?_

_Did you come for me?_

„I was afraid you'd tell me not to.” Yuzuru said, smiling as if it was obvious.

„I'd never do that.” Javier said, strained, and Yuzuru suddenly looked sad.

„I wasn't sure. I was awful to you-”

„Hey, no-”

„- after we kissed.” Yuzuru finished and Javier almost got a heartattack. It was the first time Yuzuru straight adressed what had happened „I shouldn't- I shouldn't have acted like that.”

Javier's chest was suddenly so tight, as if his heart was growing and pressing all the old wounds.

„Then why did you?” he asked quietly, and it still hurt, the memory of how it had felt.

„That never happened before, you know?” Yuzuru said and Javier almost choked.

„You never kissed anyone?”

„No.” Yuzuru winced slightly „I did, I just never-” he drew in a shaky breath and Javier could see how nervous he was „I just never felt like that.” he said in a quiet voice, so quiet Javier almost didn't hear that.

But he did.

„What do you mean?” Javier asked, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to know, because it was so, so much, and his brain couldn't catch up with reality, and his heart was threatening to explode.

„I- it never mattered to me before. People. Relationships. Work was always everything and I was okay with that. But then you appeared, so stupidly kind, and I wanted so much to just don't care.”

„So- you care?”

Yuzuru closed his eyes for the briefest of moments and when he opened them he looked straight at Javier, his gaze determined.

„I asked to be transferred here. It's only for three months, theoretically, but they say I can extend it for how long I want. I just-” he straightened up, as if he suddenly gathered all the courage he needed „You want to know why I came here? Because something changed- I changed, because of you. And I just knew that I could fa-”

Javier had enough. He stood up so abruptly his chair almost fell over, but he didn't really care. He didn't really think, either. It was like his body knew exactly what to do.

So he just walked to Yuzuru, took his face in his hands- and kissed him.

Yuzuru made a strange, muffled sound and brought his hands to cover Javier's, kissing him back.

The angle was pretty weird and there were some giggles around them, but Javier was blind to all of that. He was feeling dizzy, but in a good way, like after coming into the sun after hours in the dark, overwhelmed with light and heat.

Someone cleared their throat politely and Javier pulled back, blinking in confusion.

„I'm sorry it took so long.” the waitress said with bashful smile, putting their food on a table „Enjoy.” she added, trying her best not to grin. Javier looked around, suddenly feeling slightly embarassed, but no one was staring at them with an exception of one older lady, who smiled at him and showed him thumbs up.

„Sorry.” he muttered, but Yuzuru tilted his head a little.

„Why?” he asked simply and Javier narrowed his eyes, confused.

„Because I didn't ask?” he said, unsure, because he still remembered how it had ended the last time.

But Yuzuru smiled, with such a bright, honest smile that Javier's heart fluttered.

„You don't have to.”

They finished their meal in silence, but it was so much different than before. The air between them was charged with something warm and electrifying.

„How did you know when I was working?” Javier asked suddenly when they were walking down the street, without any particular direction.

„I asked Gabby.” Yuzuru admitted sheepishly and Javier almost laughed at him embarassed blush „She threatened to end me and hide the body if I do something wrong.”

„That sounds like her.” Javier snorted; his hand was brushing Yuzuru's from time to time, a slight touch sending shivers through his entire arm „You know” he started, carefully wrapping his fingers around Yuzuru's „this is very rom- com, showing up at my work and stuff. I didn't know you're that type.”

Javier suddenly thought about their first meeting, a shared gaze in chief Orser's office, awkward conversations and difficulties to fit in. How had they got there, to that point, after such a little time and such an awful lot of emotions?

„You don't know a lot of things.” Yuzuru said lightly, squeezing Javier's hand back, and Javier just knew that he was beaming.

„I guess I've three months to figure them out.”

 

* * *

 

They didn't need three months.

They took it slow, without expectations and only hope for the best. They went to bars and restaurants, to museums and parks. They got to know each other, step by step, day by day, letting the warmth and closeness build between them until it was feeling their chests and sparkling in their eyes everytime they looked at each other.

His mother noticed, but she didn't ask, and Javier was grateful for that. He would tell them, soon, but he needed to keep that to himself, to take it slowly and carefully, to treasure it.

„It's so good to see you so happy.” she said one night, her eyes just a little bit moist, and Javier squeezed her hand and smiled, because yeah. He was happy.

 

They avoided talking about what had happened in Canada, as if that could put a shadow on everything that was now so new and fragile between them. But it was a part of their lives, weighing on them and threatening to appear at the most unexpected moment.

It was an afternoon in late October when they stumbled into Yuzuru's tiny apartment, cheerful and rain- soaked.

„I told you it'd be like that!” Javier laughed and Yuzuru rolled his eyes, looking through his closet.

„I wasn't aware you could forecast weather.” he said, tossing Javier a t-shirt that looked way too big for either of them „Change before you get pneumonia.”

„You're not my mother.” Javier pouted while taking his soaked shirt off and grabbing the dry one „Wow, this is at least twice your size, when did you get-” he stopped mid- sentence, suddenly sensing that something was off.

Yuzuru was staring at him, his expression unreadable in the dim light, and Javier shifted a bit, feeling oddly uncomfortable, still gripping Yuzuru's shirt in his hands.

„Hey, you okay?”

„Does it hurt?” Yuzuru asked quietly, a strange edge in his voice and Javier blinked, confused. Yuzuru took a few hesitant steps and now was standing so much closer, Javier could see slight fluttering of his eyelashes and feel his rapid breathing.

And then he understood.

„Sometimes.” he admitted softly and Yuzuru bit his lower lip, as if he was trying not to cry.

It was still so new, somehow, to see him so vulnerable and open. And also a little bit heartbreaking.

Yuzuru reached out, his fingers touching the scar on Javier's chest lightly, gently, with care.

Javier was already at peace with that scar and everything what was hidden behind it. It barely hurt, sometimes was just a little bit oversensitive. There were no troubles with breathing either, because one and a half of a lung was apparently perfectly enough for him. He sometimes joked about it with his friends, but he knew he couldn't do that with Yuzuru, who still was carrying more guilt than he ever let Javier know.

„Hey.” Javier said softly, grabbing Yuzuru's chin gently and making him look up „Don't do this to yourself.”

„I know you don't want me to feel guilty, but I can't help it.” Yuzuru said quietly, his eyes shining „It's- I was stupid. And I remember it all too well.”

Javier knew that there was nothing he could do to help him; that wound was yet to be healed, because in that case it was Yuzuru who had to forgive himself, not Javier.

And Javier could only try to make it easier.

„I know how hard this is for you.” Javier muttered, taking Yuzuru's face in his hands, bringing their foreheads together „But we're gonna make so many new memories, and this- this is just gonna be a reminder that I wasn't quick enough.”

Yuzuru chuckled wetly at that, his shoulders shaking.

„You promise?”

And Javier kissed him, becauese his chest was suddenly too tight and his heart was too full, and there was no going back for them now.

They searched and found, their lips and hands studying and learning, and each kiss and touch felt like a promise, imprinted deep in their bones and marking a start of something entirely new.

 

Their fate was sealed two weeks later.

They were lying in Yuzuru's bed, on a quiet evening, minor rain falling yet again behind the windows. It wasn't even seven pm, but they didn't mind, just staying like that and basking in each other's presence, warm and comfortable.

Yuzuru was curled on Javier's side, one leg across his lap and his head on Javier's shoulder. It just felt so natural, pressed to each other and just breathing the same air, their fingers joined on Javier's chest.

„Hey Yuzu” Javier started quietly, unsure; there was one thing he had wanted to ask for a long time, but he didn't think Yuzuru would like it. Still, he just wanted to know „What were you saying to me when I was in the hospital?”

Yuzuru inhaled sharply and then let out a deep sigh, his breath warm on Javier's neck.

„That guy was Japanese?”

„Yeah.” Javier nodded with a slight smile and Yuzuru sighed yet again.

„I don't want to talk about it.” he said after a long pause „There were sad things. Bitter. I don't want to say them to you again.”

„Okay.” Javier agreed softly, understanding.

They fell silent after that and Javier thought that Yuzuru was asleep, but then his heartbeat picked up slightly.

„I can tell you something else.” Yuzuru whispered and Javier turned his head to him, their faces only inches apart. Yuzuru shifted even closer, his hand coming to cup Javier's face „I love you.”

Javier knew. He knew for a while now.

„And I love you.”

Nothing had ever felt more right.

 

* * *

 

„Well, well.” Laura smiled at him from the couch when he came home the next morning „Didn't think you'd show up before noon.”

„Laura, don't tease him.” their father said absently, hidden behind a newspaper.

„I'd just like to finally meet that mysterious person who steals my brother.” Laura pouted and their mother shook her head with a smile.

„Give him some time.” she said softly and Javier felt as if his chest was filled with bubbles.

„Actually, Laura's right. Can I bring him for dinner tomorrow?” he asked, smiling easily, and everyone stared at him for a moment before his dad folded the newspaper, his face thoughtful.

„Does he like fish? I can do a salmon.”

„No, I'm cooking!” his mom chimed in and Laura laughed at that, loudly and brightly.

And as Javier stood like that, watching his family laugh and banter, a memory of Yuzuru's touch still lingering on his skin- he got it.

It was home.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, that's it! It started as a weird idea in my head, but it turned out to be one of the most important works for me. I feel really attached to this universe and who knows, maybe I'll go back to it someday?  
> Thank you so much for sticking with this story, for reading and yelling at me in the comments sometimes. You're the best motivation and I honestly couldn't ask for more.  
> So, thank you for sharing this journey and I hope to see you on the next one!

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Hate it? Please let me know what you think about it, I crave your thoughts on this one!  
> 


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